Intimacy is not sex and sex is not intimacy.

How do you know when you have true intimacy with your partner? Let me first give you my definition of intimacy. (Please keep in mind I am not a Psychologist, Psychiatrist or a Dr. Ruth convert)

Intimacy is when two people create an environment where there is a true heart to heart connection. Their Souls seem to almost merge into one being. They feel a sense of peace, harmony, balance and unconditional love for their partner. There is no battle of ego’s, no need to win, manipulate or control. There is an inner awareness that all is well with the world. That ‘I am where I am supposed to be and I am with the person I am destined to spend my life with.’ Intimacy is not just a feeling, nor is it just knowing. It is a divine connection with another person.
It is a spiritual connectedness.

Intimate relationships can be between a man and a woman. Two people of the same sex. Two friends. Siblings. It can also be present in a relationship of a large group. (On several occasions in my 25 year speaking career I have had the pleasure of having a truly intimate relationship with my audience) When many people think of intimacy, they tend to think only of sexual intimacy. (Although sex between two people who have achieved a high level of intimacy can be a wonderful experience. I am not referring in this tip to sex as a form of intimacy.)

Let’s take a brief look at what prevents true intimacy in a relationship to help you determine where you can take corrective actions or develop new behaviors so you can experience a greater sense of intimacy in your relationships.