Romance and love are two different things and you need both to survive.

Keep the romance alive.

So, the courting is over and you have settled in to a relaxed state in your relationship. You know your partner, you can anticipate their needs, wants and desires and you can push their buttons when and if you choose to.

One of the things I have discovered both as a participant in relationships and as a speaker doing seminars for couples and singles, is that many people let the romance die and wonder why their isn’t the same passion in their relationship.

What is romance? There are entire books on this subject. Lengthy seminars and the talk show hosts have a field day with this topic and its issues. Let’s look at what romance isn’t.

Romance isn’t:
1. Falling in love.
2. Acts of kindness.
3. Comfort with your partner.
4. A weekend getaway.
5. Sending flowers.
6. Remembering anything.
7. Forgetting nothing.
8. Liking your partner.
9. Respecting your partner.
10. Or any other act.

All though these are all worthy aspects of any positive relationship they won’t keep the spark alive without romance. Romance is an attitude. It is a philosophy. It is either a part of your cellular structure or it isn’t. We speak of ‘the romantics.’ Who are they? Did they take classes on it? Oh yes, you can do any of the things on the above list and more, but do them without a romantic attitude and they will just be acts. I guess doing these acts is better than doing nothing, but I would rather have them done in the spirit of romance than just as robotic behavior that doesn’t come from the heart.

I can’t define romance, I’ll leave definitions up to the dictionary. I can’t describe romance, I’ll leave that up to the counselors. I can only tell you that either you are or you are not romantic. Look at some elderly couple in their 80’s who have been married for over 50 years - holding hands. I’ll bet they didn’t get that out of a book. Yes, you can learn to be romantic, but only if you want to.