Question: Sage, how is it possible to achieve the great spotlight of lesbian fame?

Answer: Sage, to tap into the great spotlight of lesbian fame, you need to really get your rocks off! I mean, you've got to be fucking vain and even more than that, acknowledge what really gets you off about yourself, what it is you love about yourself.

Question: Sage, what is it that you love about yourself?

Answer: Sage, what it is that I really love about myself is my fermented wine intellect and that it gets better with age. The clarity of Sage Sweetwater comes after...after getting off on dry ice! What the fuck else is there! Artistic talent is created by searching out commercial venues who will sell Sage Sweetwater a product that Sage Sweetwater can then turn into another product that she can sell; a bottle of Gallo red wine! A gold-swirled mirror tile to reflect Sage Sweetwater's sky! A chunk of dry ice! Do you get the picture?

Question: Yes, I do get the picture. Sage Sweetwater is a smoke bomb packed voluptuously with flash powder and a coil of use. Where's your match, firebrand?

Answer: My match is tucked inside the elastic band of my red and orange flame cowgirl hat. I'm about to strike the fucking match! The language is raw and free. Tapping into my Celebrity Lesbian Mode, giving them something to talk about!

Question: Thank you for your valuable time, Sage. It has been a pleasure. Who took these smoking pictures?

Answer: You're welcome Sage Sweetwater. I am the photographer. I shot all of these pictures and they are under copyright. I love shooting smoke and fire! I'm off to marketing! BTW the yellow smoke comes from Cryolite also known Sodium Aluminum Fluoride. Sage Sweetwater is a stage show! Lesbian Pyrotechnics! Using coffee filters for rolling papers! The leaf is confused! Shakespeare used smoke to lend veracity to battle scenes! Fire Way Baby!

Copyright Text and Photography 9/03/2009 Ms. Sage Sweetwater, firebrand lesbian novelist