I have sat at a lot of kitchen tables over my 42 years as a Realtor. Every home owner dealing with different circumstances including the loss of a loved one. Many times I have said it is essential to forget about the past and move on. Time waits for no one. As I have aged I've come to realize that you never forget about the past. Your past is the process that has made you who you are today.
When someone you love dies you never forget about them. Yes they are gone from this physical world but your love for them never dies. You cling to those memories of them almost desperately in hopes of not loosing them completely. This in itself is almost a form of self torture because the love and grief are so intertwined. It can seem like by clinging to the memories you are prolonging your own grief and sadness. This can become a burden and your past can interfere with your ability to experience happiness and joy in your life. You actually almost feel betrayed as you realize you have to still deal with life without the support of your loved one who has passed. If you continue along that thought process you start to lose the ability to focus. You become depressed and life no longer makes any sense. At this point it can be very difficult to find help and the wisdom is not available or you are too proud or stubborn to admit you have a problem. Many turn to alcohol or drugs. Some withdraw and become suicidal .Of course these consequences can evolve from any number of life's circumstances. Divorce, bankruptcy or illness. Circumstances quite often no fault of the one impacted the most.
Bad things do happen to good people. That's a fact. All the prayers,all the caution,all the planning,all the ability and all the luck in the world will not prevent you from experiencing the sometimes unbearable heartache that is part of life. All this leads me to one conclusion. It is impossible to get through this life with out some help. Help that is stronger than anything found in this physical realm. Anything in our physical world. Why you ask ? Because everything we have in this physical world we can lose in a heartbeat. That being the case I have come to the conclusion the help we need must be more powerful than anything readily available here. This means it must come from outside our physical realm. If it can't be physical it must be spiritual.
We must somehow tap into this spiritual power so as to be able to overcome and rise above the impact and effect of life's seemingly unending bombardment of trying circumstances. What makes me qualified to even address such a complicated issue ? I have no degree or education in such matters. What I do have is 42 years of dealing with my customers as they have gone through these circumstances. I have witnessed the power of the spirit in some and the lack of that power in others. Three of my customers committed suicide not long after I met with them to look at their properties when their partners had left them. Many have lost their partners while we were trying to sell their property so they could downsize, retire or travel. You see my business has little to do with real estate and everything to do with people.
The material world we live in makes it hard to focus on things of a spiritual nature. It takes spiritual energy such as hope, faith and belief to overcome life's adversities. Strength of character comes from your spiritual assets not your physical or material assets. Strength of character is found within your own inner belief system. This belief system has to have 4 powerful components. FAITH, HOPE, BELIEF and LOVE. Weakness comes from a lack of faith, a lack of hope, a lack of belief and the absence of love. When you surround yourself spiritually with faith, hope, belief and love you have access to a supernatural force to overcome adversity. That is why so many people need religion. They need something to believe in. That is why we need to believe in God whatever we conceive him to be. Our belief makes God real to us. With that belief comes love.
The love of God is something no one can take from us. Once we believe God loves us we have belief. A belief no one can take from us. This belief gives us faith. A faith no one can take from us. Once we have those 3 components we then have hope. Hope that cannot be destroyed no matter the adversity we face. These are the four pillars and the foundation of spiritual strength. I have seen those that have faith and those that haven't dealing with their own life's circumstances. I have learned from all my customers. Life is a teacher and we each have our own road with many twists and turns. I hope this article will help you navigate some of life's corner's a little better.
Have a great Fall and batten down your hatches winters coming.
Larry
Like many, I have had my share of life-changing events. But I always had an inner strength and self-confidence that allowed me to overcome those speed bumps in life. But when I became depressed because others did not treat me well anymore, I found that my inner strength was more powerful than religion and left it for self-reliance rather than reliance on others and their dogmatic view of religious rituals like praying or meditation. I have experienced personal miracles without praying for them. I chalked these miracles up as lucky breaks, good karma, or serendipity. For someone to pray for something and it happens, isn't a miracle, it's an unlikely event that occasionally happens.
Ron