There are all kinds of men...

The air was nice and crisp...a perfect winter evening. After watching yet another Disney movie; and before that, having enjoyed the latest version of dinner; and before that, the arrival and abrupt departure of her mother's boyfriend -- the two of us are left on the back porch.

"Why does Britt do that...comes over and then gets on his phone thing and then leaves? He didn't even eat dinner with us..." she said.

"I don't know. Maybe if I wasn't here, he would feel a little better being around you and your mom." I looked at the little light brown girl and then up to the sky.

"I like you better than Britt. He never spends any time with me and you do. Mom tells me that you are doing this for me, not for her. I don't believe it. Why do you come over here?"

"I come over here because your mom asked me to. Because she wants to make sure that as you grow up, that you know that all Black men aren't like your dad."

The little girl nods at me, and then waits before saying "I know. My dad did some bad things. I know. But I love him still."

I look out the back porch at the grass stems, peeking through the leftover snow and the remnants off what used to be an outdoor playground set. Rusty, in parts, I remember her grandfather putting it together when the Cub was just a little thing, barely walking.

"I come over here because I enjoy seeing you grow up. I lost opportunities in seeing my own children grow up, and you and the other little girl are the closest to my heart now."
She looked at me and smiled, her braced teeth showing.

"And", I said, touching her light brown skin, "I AM doing this for you. When you get older, away from your mother and me and Ba-ba, I want you to remember times like this and other times...I know I will."

There was a silence for several seconds. I looked around the backyard as I thought about what I have just said.

------

So many men have tramped in and out of the little girl's life. Britt and his gadget phone was the latest. He was well-dressed, tall, can carry on an intelligent conversation with others, and had that thick chocolate body with the voice to go along with it.

When the suggestion was made to leave his phone out in his nice late-model car, Britt bristled at that idea.

"You KNOW that I've got business," he said.

"Mike has business too; but he leaves his phone in his car because he comes over to see us," the little girl responded, hands on her hips as she addressed this grown man.

"I'm so tired of this girl throwing this dude in my face. Can't you tell her to back off?"

The Cub's mother stood and looked at the man she is really into and said, "You know, the girl's got a point. I know that he's got a woman and if truth be known, probably someone else on the side. But when he does show up around here, it's just him showing up. No phone, no earpiece, no "Yo, I gotta get this..."

The Cub interrupted her mother, adding "and he eats dinner with us and watches movies too."

"Don't have time for dinner and really now, Disney? He doesn't sound like a MAN to me... I gotta jet!”

With that, Britt grabbed his jacket and attempted to kiss the Cub's mother.

She turned her face so that he got a cheek kiss before he took off.

"Whatever..." he grumbled as he made his way out the door, down the steps and onto the street. Both females looked out the window to witness him flipping open his phone and pushing buttons as he stood for a second and then opened the door to his car. They looked at each other before moving away from the window.

"Mom, what did Britt mean when he said that Mike's not a man?" The Cub sat down on the edge of one of the great chairs and looked at her mother.

"He's trying to rag on Mike because he likes watching movies with us and Britt doesn't like Disney. I don't think that Mike really likes Disney movies either, but you were right in saying to Britt that Mike does do those things with us."

The little girl made a face and then said, "I'm sorry, Mom. I think that sometimes that if I was not here, that you would find a new husband better."

The mother turned and walked quickly to her child. She held her tight against her body and said "Look, this isn't about finding a new husband for me; or a new father for you. This is about friendships and having relationships that matter. And yes, sometimes having a child complicates things for some men. But there's other men who welcomes the complication."

She kissed the child's forehead.

"And I will ALWAYS want you around -- you're a part of me. Sure got my mouth and attitude!"

The Cub giggled.

"Mike kisses me on my forehead when he leaves too."

------

"Mike, where does God come from?" The Cub looked at me and brought me -- and herself -- back to the present.

"I honestly don't know. All I know is that He exists."

"How do you know?" She stood up and motioned for me to do the same.

"Well, I know this in my heart, little Missy. I know that God brought me toward meeting your mom...and then you... and your grandmother. Spending time with you, watching you grow up, and..."

They made their way through the back door back into the house and the kitchen, whereby her mother was busy rinsing the dishes before placing them into the dishwasher.

"...and watching your mother rinse the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. You know that's so silly..."

"Yeah, but it reduces the wear and tear on the dishwasher. Sorry about Britt leaving like that -- at least you got to meet him."

"He's okay. Better than the last guy -- David -- anyways. Maybe with time he'll slow down and won't be so busy. Maybe next time he'll actually sit at the dinner table and eat dinner with us." I then added, "I've got to go home. Dinner - and the movie - was great. Thank you for inviting me over!"

"Britt thinks you're not a man because you watch Disney movies with us."

The Cub looked at her mother when stating this, only to receive a cross look from her.

"It's the TRUTH....that's what he said!" she added, sitting down in one of the kitchen chairs.

"Well," I stated, wrapping my arms around the waist of the Cub's mother, "I have guy parts. I have hair on my chest. I think like a guy most of the time." I kissed the back of her head and then released myself from the one-sided embrace.

Then reaching for the Cub, hugging her, I added, "not everyone likes Disney movies. But the idea is to..." as I hugged the Cub, "to spend time with friends -- friends who giggle when I hug them so tight like this!"

The Cub giggled. I released myself from the hug and then kissed her gently on the center of her tanned forehead.

"We're both men, honey. Britt and I are just two DIFFERENT kinds of men."

"I like your kind of man better."