Soliloquy of the Lost
[voice from the other side - Sha'Tara]
I am lost, of that there can be no doubt. No, not physically lost - or wait, maybe that too. For who knows the coordinates of this planet Earth in relation to the billions of other worlds in this galaxy alone? Certainly no one now living on Earth. So maybe if we were to think beyond the fragile shell of our little cooling magma space craft we would realize, perhaps even with a sense of shock, that we are all lost. Whatever drive system this spaceship used to get itself in its particular orbit around Ol' Sol, has gone, like the x-ram Shearing drive, it was detached to leave Earth at the mercy of other forces. So here we are...
and here we spin... as we live our short meaningless lives and die hardly wondering why.
What does it require to know one is lost? Two things.
One: I most certainly exist. I am self-aware.
Two: I have no clue where this self-awareness exists. (In relation to the cosmos, that is)
But that kind of lostness doesn't bother me. I'll die, leave this body, return to pure mind and physical location will be basically meaningless.
It's the mind lostness I find oppressive lately. I'm lost, mired, in expanded and expanding awareness. Lost in the mysteries of life seen from the perspective of a small world within a galaxy that is no more than a speck floating in a boundless ocean of universe. More, I'm lost in the myriad non-places existing in the folds of the time/space comforter. I find no lasting purpose or reason for being "there" or is it "here?"
Aeons upon Aeons we have wandered the lost worlds, sailing the winds of creation across impossible distances... only to fall down into the micro and forget who we are. What have we accomplished that we know for sure within our minds? Oh sure, we know a whole lot more about our collective navel, but taking our cues from that is like reading every Harlequin pocket book romance ever pasted together and say, "I'm looking for the meaning of love."
I'm lost because the answers to the great questions refuse to form. One moment I think I've got a handle of the nature of evil (for example) but what good is that if the source of it still eludes me? So I'm off chasing new clues. And what about love? Once I knew a whole lot about love. But I wanted to know more. What happened? I ended up reading dictionaries and the thesaurus. I got tons of definitions, but no love. Talk to me of compassion. Of empathy, even. Sure. You can't fake those. But love? I've read how God loved this world and the people on it - no thanks. I've seen many people fall out of love and the results - no thanks. I've seen the kinds of things they sell in "The Love Boutique" - no thanks.
What drives us to want to know?
Our nature.
Why can't we know?
Lots of reasons.
Maybe, as many would to tell me, there aren't any answers, so settle for what those who know tell you. Just believe. Yeah, right. Those who know don't know shit, that I know. And they're scared shitless that the herd of sheeple will some day reach its majority and discover this open secret.
Maybe it's the way our minds are wired. Some parts of our awareness we have experienced, so we know. But some parts are just information from islands of order floating about on a sea of primordial chaos. Basically it's like going in a library where they just threw the books wherever, some piled on the floor, some on the shelves, no rhyme or reason for any of it. So we pick at random, read, and wonder where what came first, what comes after, could possibly be.
Maybe it's so simple: the mind is not just a recorder and analyzer, but an "engendering" tool. From what the tides and winds bring to our shore, we build new worlds. Probably more often than we would think, those worlds are arks and once aboard, we forget to look for new shores on which to dis-embark. We remain aboard our ark and make our home from its stores. The sure formula for exploitation and oppression.
The questions we ask arise from our labour.
If our labour is self-absorbed, we slip into solipsism. We become ants running about on a Möbius band and no matter which side we think we're on, we remain trapped on the same side.
Peace. Joyce
Phyllis
Thank you Regis,
Rose
Helen
I really enjoyed this piece Reg.
I'm lost because the answers to the great questions refuse to form
These are powerful words. Excellent job.
~hugs~
Karen
I have to agree with something of what Elizabeth said.
"Either the design or we are terribly flawed."
I wonder which we would say is flawed?
Its always easier to blame something/one else.
Very Good write.
Thanks for this write.
Keep asking
Dan
"...that there's some good in this world... and it's worth fighting for."
You convinced me to believe in the later. Love, Peace and Tranquility my friend.
Sincerely,
Regino
Love TinkaSweets
Cosmos will be there, always, so others that haven't got a clue like ourselves can also wonder where the heck they are.
Heavy, man, heavy, like the writings after Woodstock.
Georg
Fee
Be safe,
Karen
Best regards,
Leland
1. LOST ? --- Dorothy, you definitely ain't in KANSAS!
2. PURPOSE ? --- see my article, "Is All Just Dirt?" GERMS GERMINATE!
3. REASON ? --- Maybe there isn't any? CHAOS?
4. ETERNITY? --- could we just be bigger rats, on a bigger wheel, in a bigger rat-race?
5. LOVE ? --- someone once wrote: "T'is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." Consider either the absence of love (feeling unwanted, unneeded) or the opposite of love, hate -- maybe love is a healthy interim, or "break" occasionally needed from an otherwise drab, lackluster existence?
6. GOD - FAITH - BELIEF ? --- Existentialism ? I THINK, THEREFORE I AM! or how about --
I THINK I AM GOD, THEREFORE I AM GOD! I HAVE FAITH IN... ME! I BELIEVE IN...ME!
In short, is it all just an EGO trip? Funny thing about thinking - sometimes we think TOO MUCH, and don't do enough ACTION. Fear, and/or lack of confidence often causes us to 'FREEZE UP' - INACTION.
When one is BUSY, either helping others, or serving others, it seems we stop thinking about ourselves for a little while, and get a WARM, FUZZY FEELING --- could that be a form of LOVE? PURPOSE? FULFILLMENT?
Sorry - not many answers, just more questions! Tom.
TRASK
Excellent piece! I have come to believe that man is cursed by the ability to think for once we start, we find we know no answers only that we must keep looking to understand. My truth today is a lie tomorrow for that is the way of the world and of knowledge. Man's ego is such he believes he is the be-all and end-all and yet as you have said we are but a speck in the cosmos.
More, more, more. I admire your mind and your ability to communicate such thought.
Dennis
Good article.
Elizabeth