I've added lots of links to this page so that, like most of my pages, there is more meaning below the surface than what meets the eye when you first view it. I also added some commentary to the Review section below.
To fully understand the things I write, you must follow the links and read my commentaries. (I need someone to read it ALL. Everything I have posted here. My AuthorsDen Front Page. My Blog. All of my Articles, Poetry, and Stories. All of my Commentary in the Review sections. Watch the Videos. Follow all of the Links. Read all of the Text, Comments, and Replies in my YouTube Videos, and in my YouTube Community. And then let me know if they think that it makes sense, or if they think I am crazy:)
🎶 The Evolution of Moondog Radio:
I guess my goal has always been to create the ULTIMATE RADIO STATION: A huge collection of the best songs
with a tremendous amount of variety, and no talk and no commercials.
I got the name "Moondog Radio" from Cleveland DJ Alan Freed's radio show, the first to play rock and roll music
on the air. (The Beatles called themselves Johnny and The Moondogs for a short time as a tribute to Freed.)
My original "Moondog Radio" collection was a set of 100 CDs I burned from my favorite songs (mostly Rock and R&B)
in my CD collection. I would rotate those CDs in and out of a 25 CD changer I owned, and play them in shuffle mode.
The total number of songs was around 2,000. I still have those CDs but I don't play them anymore, and my 25 CD
changer doesn't work anymore.
"Moondog Radio" was also the name of a Facebook Page I had where I posted all kinds of music videos. When I
first left Facebook, my friend Jan Jewell took over and managed it for a while, until there weren't many viewers left.
(Facebook made it harder for page posts to be seen unless you paid them to allow them to be seen.)
I returned briefly and posted mostly Local and Indie music videos. But I'm not on Facebook anymore and the page
has been shut down.
For my next "Moondog Radio" collection I selected more than 7,000 of my favorite songs (all styles of music) from
my CD collection, and ripped them to my PC where I could play them in shuffle mode using Windows Media Player.
I had an app on my Roku device and my Smart TV that could play from Windows Media Player on my PC via wifi.
As Windows has been upgraded over the years though, Windows Media Player has become pretty crappy, so I
never use it anymore.
My next "Moondog Radio" collection was a subset of around 6,000 songs from my previous collection, organized
into categorical folders, and copied to thumb drives that I could play from using my car radio or a portable boombox.
That thumb drive is still the "Radio Station" I listen to when I am in my car, and I still take that boombox with me
when I go on camping trips.
But Spotify made it possible to include songs in my "Moondog Radio" collection that I don't own on physical media,
so my new collection contains more than 30,000 songs and more variety than ever. It is my new Ultimate Radio Station
and the only thing I listen to now when I'm at home.
By the way, Check out my New Favorite Playlists: 🎸📻💿
"Country🎸Rock", "ROCK & ROLL 📻", "Classic💿Albums",
"50's ROCK!", "60's ROCK!", "70's ROCK!", "80's ROCK!", "90's ROCK!".
(I listen to these all the time now.)
📝 Here is another bit of trivia:
It was adding puzzles and quests to my AuthorsDen website that led me to create a definite ending to my story.
🧩 Follow the trail of les papillons to find "Bozo's Last Gasp".🤡
Besides my original puzzle/quest (Bozo's Last Gasp) there are now three related quests
that are intended to explain its purpose and clarify its message:
1. The Quest for The Holy Grail 🏆
2. The Three Crosses
3. Bozo Must Die‼
The Grail explains the reason for the quest.
The first cross is at the beginning,
the second at a crucial juncture,
and where you find three wishes
you will find the final cross,
signifying the end of the story.
Understanding the meaning of "Bozo Must Die!"
is essential to understanding the ending.💀🦋
(There are now two endings to the story 💀🤡
because there are two ways that Bozo can die.)
📘 Epilogue: (I think I have finally finished my book!)
I believe I have done a good job (at least artistically) of telling my story here (in my AuthorsDen website).
On the other hand, I recognize (and it often troubles me) that it can easily be misunderstood. There are
certain key concepts that the reader must pick up on if they are to understand the gist of my story, and
especially the rather ambiguous ending that the trail of butterflies leads to (if they happen to find it).
1. My story is a complex one that may only be understood if you read the whole thing. This is explained
in the commentary of "Thing's I've Written - Part 1", where I also clarify a message from my front page:
that there is no mask - only a riddle, that a riddle is intended to selectively reveal, and much is revealed
to those who are truly interested and able to understand. I mention in the commentary of "Eros and Lethe"
that esoteric poetry is intended to be understood only by intelligent people who make an effort. And I
reveal in the commentary of "Solitude" my deep desire to find someone interested in understanding me.
2. I explain on my front page and in the commentary of "My Dad" that I have told my story using a mixture
of autobiography and fiction (and it is often unclear which parts are autobiography and which are fiction).
I believe that there are many people in the world who feel the same way I do, and it was my goal to write
things that they could identify with. As a result, the message was always more important than the details,
so while the message is always truthful, the details are sometimes embellished or exaggerated.
(Someone who had read my "Going On" poem asked me if I was a painter. They didn't get it.)
3. I recognize that no one (or almost no one) reads what I have posted here. My "After I'm Gone" article
mentions that, as a result, the primary purpose of my website is to let people know who I was, after I am
gone. In the commentary of "My Magic Bullet" (and in a hidden place) I explain that knowing that no one
reads what I write made it possible for me to be very candid and to reveal some of my darkest secrets.
In the commentary of my "Never Again" music video, I mention that my odd sense of humor makes me
appreciate the irony of having such things posted in a place where anyone in the world can read them
but no one does.
I told the story of a man who is very much in love with his wife, but gradually became disappointed in
both his love life and his life in general (mostly as a result of loneliness and the changes that naturally
come from growing older) and eventually became tempted by alcohol and suicidal thoughts. I went to
great lengths to explain the causes of his dissatisfaction and how he struggled with them. Much of this
explanation is a commentary on human nature and the problems that many people face.
4. In the commentary of "Apatheia: Vita pergit. Accipere res ut sunt. - Part 1" I list three quotations that
explain much of what I've written. The quotation from Thoreau's "Walden" states that most people lead
lives of desperation (absence of hope) that they keep to themselves, and that they often deal with that
despair by learning to accept it (what we call "resignation"). See my "My Philosophy" article.
5. The quotation from Leonard Cohen's "Bird On A Wire" is about the endless internal struggle between
the Stoic and the Romantic. The beggar who says "You must not ask for so much." represents the reality
principle of the Ego while the pretty woman crying "Hey! Why not ask for more?" represents the pleasure
principle of the Id. (I refer to my Stoic side as "Roger T. Slug" and my Romantic side as "Bozo The Magic
Weasel".) While I interpret Cohen as talking about the conflict between the Id and the Ego, I believe that
my favorite poem by Emily Dickinson says more about our two primary instincts: Eros (the desire to live
and experience pleasure) and Thanatos (the desire to avoid pain and suffering), and I conclude from it
that if we add despair (the absence of hope) to Thanatos (the desire to avoid pain) we end up with the
desire to die. My "Id vs Ego / Anagnorisis" poems and their commentary explain the conflicts between
the Id and the Ego, and my "A House Divided" article talks about both inner conflicts (Id vs. Ego, and
Eros vs. Thanatos). Most of what I've written about is the struggles between Bozo The Magic Weasel
(🤡 The Id, My Romantic side, Desire) and Roger T. Slug (🧙 The Ego, My Stoic side, Resignation).
6. I explain in "Unrequited? / Monsters from The Id" and its commentary that what our emotions tell us
is often untrue, but, despite that, I believe it can be beneficial to use art to express our innermost feelings.
As a result, I often write poems that simply express what I'm feeling at that particular moment, knowing
full well that what my feelings are telling me isn't necessarily accurate. So, as you read my poetry, it is
important to learn to recognize whether it is Bozo (my emotions) or Roger (my mind) who is speaking.
BOZO EXPRESSES WHAT I FEEL. He is dissatisfied when he can't have what he wants.
ROGER EXPLAINS WHAT I THINK. He understands and accepts the realities of life.
7. In "A House Divided" and in my commentaries for "The One Dream That Matters" and "Id vs. Ego", I
mention that Love and Desire can be in conflict, and in my "L'Amour Compte Plus (Love Matters More)"
poem, I state that of the two it is Love that matters more. But I conclude the little critique that follows my
"Swan Song" poem with the exclamation: "Even after you've found the answer, the struggle continues!
There is always a beggar on a wooden crutch and a pretty woman in a darkened door." That means:
Knowing the answer that "Love Matters More" does not end the conflict between Love and Desire.
Desire is always a problem. The struggle between the Id and the Ego never ends.
I hope that understanding these key concepts will make it easier for you to understand my story.
I'm just some nerdy kid from Boone Iowa,
a lonely old misfit from Omaha Nebraska,
but I have painted my "Brooklyn Crucifixion".
("My Name Is Asher Lev" by Chaim Potok)
I have done my best to explain it, but,
as far as I know, no one understands it.
I did my best. It wasn't much.
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch.
I've told the truth. I didn't come to fool ya.
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
with nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah.
Leonard Cohen (Hallelujah)🌄
🧙🏻♂️ I AM THE BEGGAR WITH THE WOODEN CRUTCH
After writing and reading the two ambiguous endings to my story
I posted the conclusion I came to in my YouTube Community.
Follow my link above.⬆
▶ If you are looking for my YouTube Community,
YouTube has renamed their "Community" tab to "Posts".
The end of my story is there. (Roger won.)
Η επιδίωξη της απάθεια:
Accipere res ut sunt. 🧙♂️
L'amour est le seul rêve qui compte.
(Read the conclusion of my commentary for "Who I Am".)
This book has been eight years in the making. It is mostly a jumble of thoughts written down in old spiral notebooks and hidden in the bottom drawer underneath various manuals for software packages and hardware long since turned obsolete.
This book is a collection of short stories that depict events in Author's life while she lived in Romania, then in Greece, and last in America. It's a beautiful and very sincere account of a young woman's life and comming to age.
AVAILABLE TODAY 2012!
PRESS RELEASE, June 1, 2009
A True Story of My Life and My Experience with United States Immigration
I was an Abducted Alien by Department of Homeland Security...
Startling memoir is about a woman
I guess my goal has always been to create the ULTIMATE RADIO STATION: A huge collection of the best songs
with a tremendous amount of variety, and no talk and no commercials.
I got the name "Moondog Radio" from Cleveland DJ Alan Freed's radio show, the first to play rock and roll music
on the air. (The Beatles called themselves Johnny and The Moondogs for a short time as a tribute to Freed.)
My original "Moondog Radio" collection was a set of 100 CDs I burned from my favorite songs (mostly Rock and R&B)
in my CD collection. I would rotate those CDs in and out of a 25 CD changer I owned, and play them in shuffle mode.
The total number of songs was around 2,000. I still have those CDs but I don't play them anymore, and my 25 CD
changer doesn't work anymore.
"Moondog Radio" was also the name of a Facebook Page I had where I posted all kinds of music videos. When I
first left Facebook, my friend Jan Jewell took over and managed it for a while, until there weren't many viewers left.
(Facebook made it harder for page posts to be seen unless you paid them to allow them to be seen.)
I returned briefly and posted mostly Local and Indie music videos. But I'm not on Facebook anymore and the page
has been shut down.
For my next "Moondog Radio" collection I selected more than 7,000 of my favorite songs (all styles of music) from
my CD collection, and ripped them to my PC where I could play them in shuffle mode using Windows Media Player.
I had an app on my Roku device and my Smart TV that could play from Windows Media Player on my PC via wifi.
As Windows has been upgraded over the years though, Windows Media Player has become pretty crappy, so I
never use it anymore.
My next "Moondog Radio" collection was a subset of around 6,000 songs from my previous collection, organized
into categorical folders, and copied to thumb drives that I could play from using my car radio or a portable boombox.
That thumb drive is still the "Radio Station" I listen to when I am in my car, and I still take that boombox with me
when I go on camping trips.
But Spotify made it possible to include songs in my "Moondog Radio" collection that I don't own on physical media,
so my new collection contains more than 30,000 songs and more variety than ever. It is my new Ultimate Radio Station
and the only thing I listen to now when I'm at home.
By the way, Check out my New Favorite Playlists: 🎸📻💿
"Country🎸Rock", "ROCK & ROLL 📻", "Classic💿Albums",
"50's ROCK!", "60's ROCK!", "70's ROCK!", "80's ROCK!", "90's ROCK!".
(I listen to these all the time now.)
📝 Here is another bit of trivia:
It was adding puzzles and quests to my AuthorsDen website that led me to create a definite ending to my story.
🧩 Follow the trail of les papillons to find "Bozo's Last Gasp".🤡
Besides my original puzzle/quest (Bozo's Last Gasp) there are now three related quests
that are intended to explain its purpose and clarify its message:
1. The Quest for The Holy Grail 🏆
2. The Three Crosses
3. Bozo Must Die‼
The Grail explains the reason for the quest.
The first cross is at the beginning,
the second at a crucial juncture,
and where you find three wishes
you will find the final cross,
signifying the end of the story.
Understanding the meaning of "Bozo Must Die!"
is essential to understanding the ending.💀🦋
(There are now two endings to the story 💀🤡
because there are two ways that Bozo can die.)
📘 Epilogue: (I think I have finally finished my book!)
I believe I have done a good job (at least artistically) of telling my story here (in my AuthorsDen website).
On the other hand, I recognize (and it often troubles me) that it can easily be misunderstood. There are
certain key concepts that the reader must pick up on if they are to understand the gist of my story, and
especially the rather ambiguous ending that the trail of butterflies leads to (if they happen to find it).
1. My story is a complex one that may only be understood if you read the whole thing. This is explained
in the commentary of "Thing's I've Written - Part 1", where I also clarify a message from my front page:
that there is no mask - only a riddle, that a riddle is intended to selectively reveal, and much is revealed
to those who are truly interested and able to understand. I mention in the commentary of "Eros and Lethe"
that esoteric poetry is intended to be understood only by intelligent people who make an effort. And I
reveal in the commentary of "Solitude" my deep desire to find someone interested in understanding me.
2. I explain on my front page and in the commentary of "My Dad" that I have told my story using a mixture
of autobiography and fiction (and it is often unclear which parts are autobiography and which are fiction).
I believe that there are many people in the world who feel the same way I do, and it was my goal to write
things that they could identify with. As a result, the message was always more important than the details,
so while the message is always truthful, the details are sometimes embellished or exaggerated.
(Someone who had read my "Going On" poem asked me if I was a painter. They didn't get it.)
3. I recognize that no one (or almost no one) reads what I have posted here. My "After I'm Gone" article
mentions that, as a result, the primary purpose of my website is to let people know who I was, after I am
gone. In the commentary of "My Magic Bullet" (and in a hidden place) I explain that knowing that no one
reads what I write made it possible for me to be very candid and to reveal some of my darkest secrets.
In the commentary of my "Never Again" music video, I mention that my odd sense of humor makes me
appreciate the irony of having such things posted in a place where anyone in the world can read them
but no one does.
I told the story of a man who is very much in love with his wife, but gradually became disappointed in
both his love life and his life in general (mostly as a result of loneliness and the changes that naturally
come from growing older) and eventually became tempted by alcohol and suicidal thoughts. I went to
great lengths to explain the causes of his dissatisfaction and how he struggled with them. Much of this
explanation is a commentary on human nature and the problems that many people face.
4. In the commentary of "Apatheia: Vita pergit. Accipere res ut sunt. - Part 1" I list three quotations that
explain much of what I've written. The quotation from Thoreau's "Walden" states that most people lead
lives of desperation (absence of hope) that they keep to themselves, and that they often deal with that
despair by learning to accept it (what we call "resignation"). See my "My Philosophy" article.
5. The quotation from Leonard Cohen's "Bird On A Wire" is about the endless internal struggle between
the Stoic and the Romantic. The beggar who says "You must not ask for so much." represents the reality
principle of the Ego while the pretty woman crying "Hey! Why not ask for more?" represents the pleasure
principle of the Id. (I refer to my Stoic side as "Roger T. Slug" and my Romantic side as "Bozo The Magic
Weasel".) While I interpret Cohen as talking about the conflict between the Id and the Ego, I believe that
my favorite poem by Emily Dickinson says more about our two primary instincts: Eros (the desire to live
and experience pleasure) and Thanatos (the desire to avoid pain and suffering), and I conclude from it
that if we add despair (the absence of hope) to Thanatos (the desire to avoid pain) we end up with the
desire to die. My "Id vs Ego / Anagnorisis" poems and their commentary explain the conflicts between
the Id and the Ego, and my "A House Divided" article talks about both inner conflicts (Id vs. Ego, and
Eros vs. Thanatos). Most of what I've written about is the struggles between Bozo The Magic Weasel
(🤡 The Id, My Romantic side, Desire) and Roger T. Slug (🧙 The Ego, My Stoic side, Resignation).
6. I explain in "Unrequited? / Monsters from The Id" and its commentary that what our emotions tell us
is often untrue, but, despite that, I believe it can be beneficial to use art to express our innermost feelings.
As a result, I often write poems that simply express what I'm feeling at that particular moment, knowing
full well that what my feelings are telling me isn't necessarily accurate. So, as you read my poetry, it is
important to learn to recognize whether it is Bozo (my emotions) or Roger (my mind) who is speaking.
BOZO EXPRESSES WHAT I FEEL. He is dissatisfied when he can't have what he wants.
ROGER EXPLAINS WHAT I THINK. He understands and accepts the realities of life.
7. In "A House Divided" and in my commentaries for "The One Dream That Matters" and "Id vs. Ego", I
mention that Love and Desire can be in conflict, and in my "L'Amour Compte Plus (Love Matters More)"
poem, I state that of the two it is Love that matters more. But I conclude the little critique that follows my
"Swan Song" poem with the exclamation: "Even after you've found the answer, the struggle continues!
There is always a beggar on a wooden crutch and a pretty woman in a darkened door." That means:
Knowing the answer that "Love Matters More" does not end the conflict between Love and Desire.
Desire is always a problem. The struggle between the Id and the Ego never ends.
I hope that understanding these key concepts will make it easier for you to understand my story.
I'm just some nerdy kid from Boone Iowa,
a lonely old misfit from Omaha Nebraska,
but I have painted my "Brooklyn Crucifixion".
("My Name Is Asher Lev" by Chaim Potok)
I have done my best to explain it, but,
as far as I know, no one understands it.
I did my best. It wasn't much.
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch.
I've told the truth. I didn't come to fool ya.
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
with nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah.
Leonard Cohen (Hallelujah)🌄
🧙🏻♂️ I AM THE BEGGAR WITH THE WOODEN CRUTCH
After writing and reading the two ambiguous endings to my story
I posted the conclusion I came to in my YouTube Community.
Follow my link above.⬆
▶ If you are looking for my YouTube Community,
YouTube has renamed their "Community" tab to "Posts".
The end of my story is there. (Roger won.)
Η επιδίωξη της απάθεια:
Accipere res ut sunt. 🧙♂️
L'amour est le seul rêve qui compte.
(Read the conclusion of my commentary for "Who I Am".)