DID YA EVER "SWAT' FLIES ?

The Pic ? A Casualty of War ! 👺

FLIES ?


Tom Hyland - (C) - 8/27/16


Third person singular, present tense of the verb, fly.

Openings at the crotch of pants. Plural noun.

Any of numerous two-winged insects of the order Diptera.


My rather 'twisted' theory involves the third definition above.

It has to do with the questionable concept, or belief in ...
Reincarnation.

Houseflies, Horseflies, those disgusting nuisances,
That feed on garbage, feces, and/or dead things.
Ugh !

They are loaded with germs, and other possible infectious pestilence.

I have always Hated these Suckers!

They land on your food, or your drink, or your Body,
And Buzz around your head, pestering the Hell
Out of you!

Whenever I get a chance, I Kill these SOB's.


What if, really pesty Despicable People are Reincarnated as Flies?

Whether you use a Fly-Swatter, a Rubberband,
A Rolled-Up Newspaper, or Magazine ...
To Squash these reprehensible Scavengers ...
Doesn't it feel really ... Good ?

It's kind of like you just Rid the World of ...

Hitler, or Stalin, or Mussolini, or Osama Bin Laden ...

Another Rat-Bastard 'Bites The Dust' !


Doesn't this concept make you feel like a Champion of Justice?


What, Pray Tell, could possibly 'trigger' such a ...
Crazy thought in my feeble Brain?

AN INVASION !!!

It all started about a week ago, in my trailer Home.

A Huge Horsefly alit on my TV Screen ...
God ... he was almost the size of a VW !

It took several shots with rubber-bands,
But eventually I Got him!

Then, a little later ... Damn ...
There was Another one!

This one Buzzed by me and 'Dive-Bombed' ...
Then landed on the closed mini-blinds on the front window.
WHAP!

With an AARP magazine ...
Another Dead Denizen !

The next morning, came out to the kitchen ...
Damn !
Three more of these Huge Mothers were Zooming around.

Whap! Whap! Whap!
SHIT ! MISSED !

I felt like a Hunter on Safari now ...
Determined to eliminate my Quarry!

One by one ... I succeeded ...

Later in the evening, watching a DVD movie ...
With 'My Lady' ...

WHOOSH !

There goes another Horsefly Monster ...
Right on the TV again ...
This time I was prepared with three nice ...
Thick Rubber-Bands ...

Third try ... I got that Sucker !

Around midnight, Pat left ...
Went into the bathroom for a liquid relief session, before bed ...
Son-Of-A-Bitch !

Three more Volkswagens warming themselves ...
On the little Nite-lite!

Grabbed the closest Weapon I could ...
A spray can of Lavender Deodorizer ...
Blasted them ... Then Squashed All Three !

Turned in for some 'Shut-Eye" ...
Totally Disgusted.

The next morning was Friday, and ...
I didn't have to go to work, so I slept in late.

When I went to the kitchen to prepare my morning Java ...
DAMN !

Four or Five more, on the blinds, and more ...
Between the blinds and the inner plastic windows ...

Up above, on the right-hand display window ...
Where my Blue Glass Bottles were shining in the Sunlight ...
Two more Vehemoths were somehow trapped ...
Between the inner plastic and outer glass windows.

Up and down, and around, they buzzed, in desperation.
I assumed they climbed up through a small hole ...
Then were too Dumb to go back down and find it.

Eventually, without air, and without food and water ...
These 'Movvas' would suffocate ...
A fitting end to Reincarnated Despots ...
Eh Wot ?

By now I guess in three days I Killed ...
Maybe 15 or more of these Mammoth Horse-Flies.

Where in the Living Hell were they all coming from?
How did such Infestation occur?

I wracked my brain trying to figure out this Dilemma.
Eureka ! Could it be ?

About a week earlier, my Son gave me some cuttings ...
From his Spider Plant.
Could there have been Eggs on the long leaves ...
Or, in the roots?

I needed a Hanging Pot to plant these cuttings ...
Pat gave me one full of potting soil ...
That was all dried out, and had been sitting ...
In her Shed for Lord knows how long!

I had mixed up the dry soil, planted the cuttings,
Watered them, and hung the pot on a kitchen chair ...
To get some sun.
Were there Eggs in this soil?

Ponder - Ponder - Ponder ...

Well, this past Monday morning, Pat and I ...
Were leaving for vacation in Ocean City, so ...
I got the bright idea of moving the Damned ...
Planter Outside to the Patio.

Then, on second thought, I also moved a similar pot ...
With little Tomato plants outside too ...
Finally, a third, longer planter with veggie sprouts ...
Was joined with the other two.

We were gone for Four days.
I jokingly told her ...
"I hope they don't Multiply and Fly my Trailer Away!"

Upon my return home late Thursday afternoon ...
Which just happened to be my 76th Birthday ...
My 'Castle' was still there!

No infestation, but I have Killed Three More ...
As of this writing, at Saturday morning ...
3:36 A.M.

FLIES ?

(C) - TKH.


PostScript:

Just now Googled - Horseflies ...

Guess what?

"Fertile Blood-Sucking Female Horseflies ...
usually lay their Eggs on the underside of Leaves ...
and in about 2-3 days the larvae hatch out ...
and drop from the leaves."

DUH ???