Satire piece on typing.

I came to the realization, as I was im(ing) with my sister the other day that this is not the best way to go about writing a novel. It is quite astonishing how instantaneously we can communicate, without having to pay a large phone bill. It would be more of a marvel, if my sister wasn’t a greatly faster typer than myself. For every message I sent, I would receive two or three in reply. At one point I told her, “I don’t know why I ever entertained the notion of becoming a writer.” To which she replied, “Because it’s fun.” Next reply before I respond, “Besides once you get rich, you can hire a typist.” So this is the great answer to writing a novel using the hunt and peck method: hire someone who can actually type! Now, why didn’t I think of that? Oh yeah right, the first part of the equation I need to be rich. Maybe I should change the title of this article to: “Schemes to get rich quick”. Alas, I don’t know of any. Therefore, I will sit at this keyboard and hunt and peck my way into the writing profession. If someone asks, “Why don’t I just take a typing class? They aren’t too expensive, so you needn’t be rich.” I may respond, after a two to three minute lull, “I hunt and peck with one hand and gave up learning to type years ago.” In high school, I had my boyfriend type my senior term paper for me. Then in college I became an English major. I love writing and analyzing literary characters. After my high school experience, I realized even though my typist used two hands to type, I was still faster. Four years of college, and typing more term papers than I can count, I have become pretty proficient at this hunt and peck method. But as I was sitting here, im(ing) with my sister, I suddenly realized why I’ve only written short stories in my short writing career. As I started this little piece, I’ve kept my eye on the clock to show you. This piece is now about 370 words, and it took me 40 minutes to type! What I realized the other day was the hunt and peck method to novel writing is definitely a labor of love. I haven’t begun a novel yet, and maybe when I do, I’ll be rich and able to hire myself a typist. Or better still, the voice recognition software, which is out could actually work well enough and be reasonable in price for me to use. But until then I’m sticking with the short stories. Those I can hunt and peck my way through and be satisfied with a job well done at the end. Of course, years from now if you ever see an old lady hunched over a keyboard, cursing at the fact she’s only on page 12 of her novel, come up and introduce yourself. I may look up long enough to say hi.