It's amazing what my son's expectations of my strength and inner power keep me going when I need it most as I age.

The “Biblical” Cord with that Pulls and Keeps me Going!
An out-of-necessity, self-motivated person all my life, who would have guessed at the very new, tender age of 80, I’d gird my loins even tighter because I have a 43-year-old son who thinks (or at least makes me believe) his Ma is just the “coolest” who can handle anything.
If he only knew…
And, yet, his expectations of me, at this point in my life after two heart attacks and a recent TIA, often shake my carcass is what makes me pick myself up, dust myself off and “kick butt” all over again!
A single Mom and professional PR/media person, my life revolved around my son and my demanding career, splitting myself in half daily to accomplish both successfully, yet always, but always prioritizing his needs. It was hard, very hard to pull off but I did it.
I did my best – and finally – burnt out and got my stress heart attack. I’ll forever be thankful for its timing because, by then, my son was settled in college 3,000 miles away, living his own life. He has always been an exceptional human being, focused, hard working and sensitive, having grown up before his time, like many of us…
Perhaps my son’s own memories and perception of me as a mother who “did her best” are different, and that’s something only he carries in his heart and memories. We parents tend to feel that we could have done better, more and differently because we wanted the best for our kids and tried our best. I did my best and as my own wise son shared with me as a teenager: “Guilt is a useless emotion”… Wise kid; I like that.
As I go through my life, living alone and “rocking it” the best I can while a “health freak,” (gym, superb nutrition, positive outlook), it’s work, lots of work requiring much inner strength and motivation. It’s hard, but I have to do it for myself – and then there’s the incredible “expectation” that my son expresses often because that’s what HE is used to seeing about me and the way I’ve lived my life! Having him continually compliment me somehow reinforces some type of “responsibility” within me that works very much in my favor, motivating me, infusing me with energy and purpose. It surprises me that HE expects no less from this Super Mom – understanding my vulnerabilities and challenges which I have expressed.
And that is precisely what keeps me going: Not that he unreasonably expects the unreasonable, but tries to remind me of my strengths and inner power; it’s a boost! And it works.
It’s not so much that I won’t let him down; it’s just his gentle reminder to look within myself and tap into my own strength. And it works; he just rattles the cage a bit: He knows me so well!
So, as I navigate my aging challenges and vicissitudes of aging, I continue to challenge myself every single day to keep on trucking doing what I know works for me: daily exercise and daily mental stimulation through constant learning new things – and, always, but always a strong leaning on my faith. I give credit where credit is due.
That’s it. I feel good about the discipline of jotting my thoughts and hitting the gym instead of binging on Prime or Netflix? I did that yesterday because it rained. No guilt; it was fun!