So now I'm into another battle scene--a very different sort of fight, with only two characters involved. And I'm about to skin myself alive trying to step into the character I'm perceiving the scene through. He's elusive--I think (now that I think about it) because he's not a fighter at heart. He's a peacemaker. But here, in this situation, he doesn't have that option. He MUST fight. He will fight. Everything depends on him fighting. But, man, he really doesn't want to go there with me.
I think my block is, actually, my character's hesitation to engage with this scene. He doesn't like being put in this situation. And he's digging in his heels big time.
OK. That sounds absolutely nuts.
Well then. Nuts it is. But that's what's happening.
I create my characters through a sort of interview process. Goes something like this--I'm writing a scene that calls for a new character to show up. He shows up, and I get a good look at him. Then I start to ask him questions. Like what are you doing here? What do you want? What do you fear? What's your dark secret? Things like that. And little by little, a "person" takes shape. And off we go.
From there, the writing becomes part creative expression, and part negotiation. The characters become so real in my imagination that there's no way they can be forced to do something that's not true to who they are. Sometimes, though, like in the scene I'm writing, the character is forced into a situation where he is confronted with something he really doesn't want to face. And he has to wrestle with that, and find (hopefully) a place of resolution about what he has to do.
This particular character is powerfully courageous. He just happens to also be peace-loving. So he's got to dig deep, find the deep courage he has, the deep love he has for all those whose lives depend on him, and use it to override his aversion to using his power to defeat another soul.
Wait, that's it! This scene is forcing him to show his power. And he's scared to do that, because he's afraid to break the chains he's put on his dark side--the bloodthirsty part of him he doesn't like, and he doesn't want anyone to see. If he unleashes his power, what will he become? Who will he be then? He's terrified to look there, because he thinks the thing he will become is monstrous, hideous, dark. He's afraid becoming that "other" person will shatter the "pure" soul he's struggled so long to perfect. He will lose himself, or so he believes.
OK! Wow, that helps. Thanks for letting me ramble on in my fantasy psychobabble therapy session.
