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Kelvin Bueckert

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Member Since: Oct, 2006

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Blogs by Kelvin Bueckert

My Tragic Story of Thinking and Debauchery.
12/6/2019 8:01:29 AM


A satirical piece about a man and his thinking problem.
“Hey Kelvin, try this think, you’ll love it!” Yep. That’s how I took my first think. Once I tried thinking I found that I liked it. I liked it alot. Thinking made me feel good!
It helped me accomplish things!
At first I was happy to just think on the weekends but before I knew it, I was thinking every day! I’d have my first think in the morning and I wouldn’t quit thinking until I went to bed.
It was terrible!
Soon, seedy underground libraries became my home.
I started having run-ins with the thought police on a regular basis. The thing is, I just stopped caring. Fitting into the system had lost all appeal to me. Thinking had completely taken control of my life!
One night, after another wild thinking binge left me with a pounding head full of big ideas and a heart full of motivation I knew that something had to change.
I couldn’t go on making the world a better place!
That’s when I joined my local Complacency Support Group. With their expert assistance, I was at last able to face the fact that I was thinker and that I needed help.
The hardest part was getting rid of my secret stash…of books. But, after awhile, I realized that if I was ever going to fit into the system…if I was ever going to heal from my years of thinking, I needed to get rid of anything that might trigger me to start thinking again.
You know, as I watched my stash of books burning there in the fire, I felt free for the first time in my life.
They were right, ignorance is bliss.
I’ve made up my mind. I’m never going back to thinking. It just wasn’t good for me. I see that now.
I have my television and that will be enough.
Maybe I’ll even start drinking…at least that is socially acceptable…not like thinking.
Friend, if you are ever tempted to think, I urge you, talk to somebody.
If you ever feel like making a difference, reach out for help.
The councilors at the Complacency Support Group are always willing to do something to help you do nothing.
Call them today and fit yourself into the world system.
You’ll be glad you did.


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More Blogs by Kelvin Bueckert
• Greeting [a new season] - Tuesday, December 31, 2019
• You (after waking) - Saturday, December 7, 2019
•  My Tragic Story of Thinking and Debauchery. - Friday, December 6, 2019