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What's in a Name? 6/1/2008 4:59:15 PM
What’s in a name?
An alternate title for this blog could be "What is Family?".
Remember that old saying "blood is thicker than water"? Well generally speaking it is the truth, I mean what mother wouldnt give her life for her child? I could go on with more examples but I wont, I tend to be long winded and I want to keep this one as short as possible.
I have 3 kids, 2 girls of whom are grown and one is even married. Then theres my son, the baby of the family. He just graduated high school today. Several months ago he/we changed his name. Recently I have come under attack for doing this. People say things like "It doesnt change who he is". Well guess what....no one ever wanted to change who he is...thats impossible any way, I mean did my daughter change who she was when her name changed through marriage? No. The answer to the question of why he/we changed his name is in the title(s) of this blog.
I met my husband when my son was 10, almost 11. Shortly after he turned 11 my husband and I became an "item". In the past 7+ yrs it has been my husband that has been there for not only my son but for both my daughters as well. My son's father chose other woman and fun over his kids. Not only did this boys father abandon him, but that whole side of the family did. Birthdays and holidays have come and gone with little or no word from anyone in that family. Not grandparents aunts uncles or cousins. Yet my husbands family always ask (they are all out of state) about all three kids as well as the 4 grandbabies. My mother-in-law is worried sick about my son going into the US Army, yet his own fathers side has no clue he is even going. When my son got bullied at school...who was it that was there for my boy? My husband thats who. When my son cried cuz he sat by the phone all day waiting for his father to call him on his birthday, who was there to hold him and tell him that although he wasnt his real father he loved him like he was? My husband thats who. Who taught my son to weld, ride a motorcycle, and a riding lawn mower? Who taught my son auto mechanics? who was there to have talks about girls? Who was it that was there to teach my son that if he wants anything in life he will have to work for it? Who was it that when my son got beligerant and rebeleous or got in trouble at school had talks with him? Who was it that was there fighting with the boy to do his homwork? And who was it that was there to celebrate my sons making the honor roll? My husband. Not only has he raised my son for almost 1/2 his life but it has been the toughest half. And as one of my daughters wrote to her "stepmother", he didnt have to stay here, he CHOSE to take on that roll. This man has been there for my kids 100%, so much so that my afore mentioned daughter named her son after my husband. And this is why my son took my husbands name. Its not about changing who he is, he will always be the product of Rob and Lisa. It is about family and honoring the man who has been there for him.
Blood isnt what makes a family. Love is.
My son took the name of the man that loves him, the name of the family that cares about him and has taught him and been there for him. Why would he keep the name of a man who hasnt made any contact with him or payed any child support for nearly 2 yrs? Or of a family that has gone nearly 5 years with absolutly no contact? If that family wants to pretend he doesnt exsist and my husband and his family have taken him on unconditionally then isnt that what real family is?
Now a quick word of advice...if you havent walked a mile in someones moccasins...dont judge them.
More Blogs by L-M Owens • In Search of... - Thursday, February 12, 2009 • What's in a Name? - Sunday, June 1, 2008 • Just a Biker - Wednesday, May 7, 2008
