In the morning, the romantic suspense heroine goes to wash her coffee cup in the sink and witnesses a murder through the kitchen window. As she rushes to the phone to report it, she screams at the rattlesnake curled up under the butcher block table. How did that get there? She grabs the car keys off the counter and runs to her car, but on this day the engine won't start. The serial killer in the neighbor's yard is now climbing over the bushes. The romantic suspense heroine finally gets the car started and peels out of the driveway. 

The romantic suspense heroine breathes a sigh of relief and heads to the store to buy snake repellent and notices in her rear view mirror that she is being tailed by a big black SUV. The SUV pulls up alongside her and sideswipes her until she is forced to take the next exit. The engine is acting up again and she stalls beneath an overpass with no one around to see her. The black SUV pulls up behind her.

A red Ferrari appears out of nowhere and parks along the opposite curve. A tall, insanely attractive man steps out of the Ferrari, and with one glance from his sunglasses the SUV screeches into reverse and takes off. The sinfully hot man offers to ride the romantic suspense heroine to the closest garage in his Ferrari. The romantic suspense heroine is no fool. She calls a cab from her cell phone and locks herself inside her car. The ridiculously good-looking man leaves in his Ferrari (sigh).

Back home again, the rattlesnake is gone. There is yellow crime scene tape in the neighbor's back yard. The romantic suspense heroine fills an iced tea glass with red wine...to the top. She searches the house for any trace of the rattlesnake and glances out her bedroom window, where she sees her other neighbor (her best friend in the whole wide world) fighting with someone in the front yard. A shot rings out and her friend screams. A black SUV pulls up and her best friend is shoved into the back.

...and so on, and so on... Such is the life of a romantic suspense heroine. :)