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Pamela E Wiedenbeck

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Member Since: Apr, 2010

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Books
· Pam, You Not Doing Job!

· With Portia O'er the Door

· Diary of a Demon

· Souls of All Evil


Short Stories
· Feathers

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· Cat-astrophe

· Michigan Boating

· Sitcom Wisdom

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· The Chicken and the Egg

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Blogs by Pamela E Wiedenbeck

The Tao of Tsau: Conflict
6/30/2010 12:59:29 PM


How do you feel after resolving a conflict on your project?

One of the major skills that a project manager has to develop is that of conflict resolution.  Since the work of projects is performed by humans, conflict is inevitable.  Rather than suppress the conflict, a manager might choose to embrace the conflict and turn it into a learning situation.

The highest form of conflict resolution is collaboration.  This is generally where the parties explore alternatives and try to make the "pie" bigger before slicing it up.  That being said, a manager should be aware that the other forms of conflict resolution (smoothing, forcing, withdrawing, and compromise) are all legitimate tools to use during the process.  Each tool has its place.  However, most of us have a default approach to conflict resolution and rarely tap the power of alternate approaches.

One thing to remember about compromise is that while you get to agreement, often both parties have given something up to get to that agreement.  If you can preserve the relationship and avoid hurting feelings along the way, a compromise may be a legitimate way to solve a problem.

If you read the Tao, you will find that the sages use smoothing and withdrawing as their primary approaches to conflict resolution.  However, no matter what approach you take to get to an agreement, Verse 79* contains much wisdom.

"After settling a great dispute
     some resentment is sure to remain
Being content with what you have
     is always best in the end

The Sage always assumes the debt
     as if holding the left side of the contract
He gives and gives, and wants nothing in return

One with true virtue
     always seeks a way to give
One who lacks true virtue
     always seeks a way to get
To the giver comes the fullness of life
     to the taker just an empty hand

Though the Tao of Heaven has no favorites
     it always sides with one who has a pure heart

*Tao Te Ching, The Definitive Edition, Lao Tzu with Translation and Commentary by Jonathan Star, Jeremy P Tarcher/Penguin, 2001, page 92



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More Blogs by Pamela E Wiedenbeck
• Life Interrupting Writing - Saturday, March 19, 2011
• NaNoWriMo Day 26: 50025 words - Friday, November 26, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 25: 48776 Words - Thursday, November 25, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 24: 47072 Words - Wednesday, November 24, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 23: 45313 Words - Tuesday, November 23, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 22: 43022 Words - Monday, November 22, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 21: 40973 Words - Sunday, November 21, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 20: 39285 Words - Saturday, November 20, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 19: 37,423 Words - Friday, November 19, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 18: 35478 Words - Thursday, November 18, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 17: 33714 Words - Wednesday, November 17, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 16: 31977 words - Tuesday, November 16, 2010
• NaNoWritMo Day 15: 30109 words - Monday, November 15, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 14: 27162 Words - Sunday, November 14, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 12: 23087 Words - Friday, November 12, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 11: 21941 words - Thursday, November 11, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 10: 20201 Words - Wednesday, November 10, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 9: 18516 words - Tuesday, November 9, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 8: 16883 Words - Monday, November 8, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 7: 15198 words - Sunday, November 7, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 6: 11754 words - Saturday, November 6, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 5: 10122 Words - Friday, November 5, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 4: 7198 Words - Thursday, November 4, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 3: 5471 words - Wednesday, November 3, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 2: 3483 Words - Tuesday, November 2, 2010
• NaNoWriMo Day 1: 1767 Words - Monday, November 1, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Effect of Your Decisions - Monday, August 30, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Sense of Humor - Wednesday, August 18, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau - The Learning Journal - Tuesday, August 17, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Are you on the right bus? - Wednesday, August 11, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Progress - Tuesday, August 10, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Timing - Monday, August 9, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Flexibility - Thursday, August 5, 2010
• The Tau of Tsau: Living - Wednesday, August 4, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Vacation - Friday, July 16, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Knowledge - Wednesday, July 14, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Attitude - Tuesday, July 13, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Urgency - Monday, July 12, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Collaboration - Friday, July 9, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Patience - Thursday, July 8, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Common Sense, The Sequel - Wednesday, July 7, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Deadlines - Tuesday, July 6, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Leaving a Legacy - Friday, July 2, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Status - Thursday, July 1, 2010
•  The Tao of Tsau: Conflict - Wednesday, June 30, 2010  

• The Tao of Tsau: Micromanagement - Tuesday, June 29, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Low Priorities - Thursday, June 24, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Creative Panic - Wednesday, June 23, 2010
• Poetry of Esther Parent Durocher: My Punishment - Tuesday, June 22, 2010
• Poetry of Esther Parent Durocher: The Island of Dreams - Tuesday, June 22, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Listening - Tuesday, June 22, 2010
• Poetry of Esther Parent Durocher: Winter - Monday, June 21, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Are you doing the right thing? - Monday, June 21, 2010
• The Poetry of Esther Parent Durocher: In Memoriam of Lauretta Delisle who died May 16, 1910 - Friday, June 18, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Servant Leadership - Friday, June 18, 2010
• Poetry of Esther Parent Durocher: A Boy's Dream of Thanksgiving - Thursday, June 17, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Business - Thursday, June 17, 2010
• Poetry of Esther Parent Durocher: Farewell to the Brook - Wednesday, June 16, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Surprises - Wednesday, June 16, 2010
• Poetry of Esther Parent Durocher: Forget-Me-Not - Tuesday, June 15, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Common Sense - Tuesday, June 15, 2010
• Poetry of Esther Parent Durocher: A Summer Maid - Monday, June 14, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Ongoing Communications - Monday, June 14, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Scope - Thursday, June 10, 2010
• Poetry of Esther Durocher: Nothing at All - Wednesday, June 9, 2010
• Poetry of Esther Parent Durocher: An Epitaph - Wednesday, June 9, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Satisfaction - Wednesday, June 9, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau -- Tools - Tuesday, June 8, 2010
• Poetry of Esther Parent Durocher: A Kiss - Monday, June 7, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Priorities - Monday, June 7, 2010
• Poetry of Esther Parent Durocher: My Little Man - Friday, June 4, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau -- Second Chances - Friday, June 4, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau -- Knowing - Thursday, June 3, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau -- Commitment - Wednesday, June 2, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau -- On Teamwork - Tuesday, June 1, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau -- The Unexpected - Friday, May 28, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau -- Value of All Work - Thursday, May 27, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau: Consulting Engagements - Wednesday, May 26, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau -- Productivity: Persistence - Friday, May 21, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau -- Productivity: Others - Thursday, May 20, 2010
• The Tao of Tsau - Centering - Wednesday, May 19, 2010
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