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Blogs by Leslie Musoko
A cross to bear... 11/22/2010 5:01:13 PM
I called it a false spring, I guess this is because when I looked out of my window it appeared to be a bright morning mingled with remnants from a long summer, but what was hidden behind this façade was the cold wintry months to follow. If I was expecting to find refuge in this then I was in for a surprise. Like every temporal accommodation it depicted the thought of freedom, a place of safety free from the degrading elements in life and the infinite pressures that overcame one. Many would have said it was the thought that counted, having the liberty to escape a moment of indecision just for that instant in time when all could be forgotten. This was never the case. I knew that in running from the problem I was merely sinking deeper into it. I called it a false spring, I guess this is because when I looked out of my window it appeared to be a bright morning mingled with remnants from a long summer, but what was hidden behind this façade was the cold wintry months to follow. If I was expecting to find refuge in this then I was in for a surprise. Like every temporal accommodation it depicted the thought of freedom, a place of safety free from the degrading elements in life and the infinite pressures that overcame one. Many would have said it was the thought that counted, having the liberty to escape a moment of indecision just for that instant in time when all could be forgotten. This was never the case. I knew that in running from the problem I was merely sinking deeper into it.
The parade came to halt and we all backed up into one another as the lead vehicle pulled over to the side. I watched the newly weds stroll in with style, surrounded by the masses of people that cheered them on. I was a close friend but so far from it all at that moment because the party was now in full swing and the past had been forgotten. Time had eluded my wishes and made me a fountain for excuses. I watched the family and friends follow the couple in to the house with camera flashes blinding in the false spring and I wondered when my time would come. I walked into the crowded house making myself as invisible as I could. There were many faces from the past that would have recognized mine and then the questions would start.
‘When would your time come?’ I could just hear them now like rocket-propelled grenades in battle. One knew they were coming and dived for cover, yet the outcome was never predictable. It was hard to tell what part of your anatomy would be remaining after each one. I had been here already several times, parties of this nature, busy with people enjoying the finer things in life and it never failed to escape my mind the way in which one could be sociable without stealing the limelight or appearing to be obnoxious. In the past my invisible ability had not gone amiss for I was always able to slip into the shadows talking to those that I wished to and others who desired to reach me. It wasn’t to my choice or better judgment as one never knew who was making the most out of the party. However I wanted to explore this new mystery and why it was prudent to keep in the shadows. It wasn’t the social skill of the decade but it had ramifications in the spiritual world. This setting was ideal for many reasons. It was a wedding that brought two people together, a setting that was pure in respect for the vows that were made between two people to share the same life throughout their human existence. Then there was the invisible nature that could be envisaged by those who were hardly noticed in a party this large. The day itself cast a mystery on itself by being a morning that was given the nature of a false spring. I knew there was plenty for me to learn from all of this and the weariness I had felt a few hours ago in the car.
“Let us be glad and rejoice and ‘give honour to him: for’ the marriage of the Lamb is come, and ‘his wife hath made herself ready. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.”
It was time to answer the question that had been surging through my mind for years. How could one truly make themselves ready? The spiritual man was chosen to be the bride of the Lord preparing himself through life accepting every word of God and abiding in his commandments and here I was in a wedding having already failed in my attempt to even enjoy the ceremony. So how did being invisible creep into my mind? That too was obvious for I was invisible to man because I was spoken for in the spirit. This was natural because the spiritual man is born invisible when he accepts the Lord at which time he is overlooked on most occasions. The two things tied in beautifully for the spiritual man is invisible because he is spoken for as a bride of some one else that is far greater than anything on this earth. This was certainly a breakthrough! It made a lot of sense why I felt left out and abandoned because I had already been spoken for to serve another. Yet if I was weak there was no doubt I would return to my old ways seeking comfort again back in the world and looking only at man for satisfaction. Today parties have no more become days of false spring, days in which the cold is hidden in the shades. Parties are what they are whether I am visible or invisible for the truth remains that either way it is the wish of the Lord.
