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The Challenges of Bipolar Disorder 7/16/2014 3:16:53 PM
Experienced two, shocking revelations at the tender age of seventeen, pregnancy and being diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
As my mom and I sat on the opposite side of the desk of the hospital psychologist, bewildered, the psychologist delivered a crushing blow, after asking us a few questions. "I believe your daughter is manic depressive. Manic depressive disorder (which is what bipolar disorder was known as then) is caused by a chemical imbalance of the brain. I believe that the hormonal changes, due to her pregnancy, is what has triggered it. I suggest that you have the baby aborted." (At this point, it was as though I, was not even there.) My mom said, "No, we are not, going to do that. We are Christians, and do not believe in abortion. He, then, referred us to a psychiatrist at Seven Counties (a clinic for the mentally ill).
I experienced horrors, going through the manic phase of my illness, especially, before I was placed on the right medication. I had racing thoughts, (probably similar to the way a person on the recreational drug, speed, experienced)could not sit any longer than five to ten minutes, felt as though I had to be on the go, constantly, had hallucinations, (a popular one, thought the world was about to end) delusions of grandeur----it was horrible! I recall going shopping downtown all dressed up, thinking I was wealthy, although I had very little money. I bought a large, square shaped pair of purple earrings, thinking they were genuine amethyst. Purple had been my favorite color ever since I was a little girl. I would sneak out of the house late at night for a moonlight walk, imagining that my boyfriend was with me. I was a hopeless romantic, you see. That's what got me "knocked up". LOL! That, and Satan using my bipolar disorder and hopeless romantic state against me. During one of those late night walks, I encountered one guy holding a gun on another. I'm quite sure I was not, hallucinating at the time. I stopped dead in my tracks, silently asking my heavenly Father what to do. He told me to begin walking again looking straight ahead, as though I did not see them. I followed God's instructions, and the gunman didn't point his gun towards, or say anything to me. I didn't tell my mother about it, or anyone else. Yes, I had thoughts of suicide, as well. God had His hands on me even then. He had made me one of His messengers before I was formed in my mother's womb.
Finally, I was placed on the right medication and things began to look up for me.
It's been many years, since I've had a manic episode.
God has brought me through my ordeal and protected me, remarkably! My "Dad" is truly, awesome and so, so, amazing!!!!!
