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How To Get Your 15 Minutes In the Spotlight 7/11/2015 1:50:59 PM
See title There are many paths to fame, which in most cases, exactly like the house built on sand, is fleeting.
Here is but one of them:
- Live in a trailer park
- Shop at Wal-Mart
- Get yo ass on cell cam while performing normal Wal-Mart related activities such as engaging in battle with one of your own kind
- Get the crude video of your cruder still ass on the internet
- Alert the trash media to the breaking story and stand at the ready to tell the world your side of it
While not all roads run through Wal-Mart (some lead through reality TV and at least half of them have a close encounter of the weird kind with Jerry Springer), most of them do involve getting your ass on video doing something low rent and stupid (if you can’t get your ass on unrealistic TV or Springer doing something low rent and stupid) and getting that video on the worldwide web so as millions of people with nothing better to do can say “Hey, look at this idiot!” and instantly feel better about themselves on account of them not being you.
Popular among young males with no desire to breed is finding new and creative ways to hit themselves in the balls, such as by jumping from the back of a moving pickup or off a garage roof onto a white picket fence, which is not to say that some of these trying to be nutless wonders don’t simply go for the old uncreative ways of denutting themselves, such as by having a friend kick them full force with the steel tip of their cowboy boot. At the end of the day, as long as it works there isn’t really any wrong way to break your balls. Playing the role of bowling pins waiting for a strike with open legs is always fun, as is playing the role of a catcher’s mitt in the same position. It’s all good – to watch – not so much so to be a part of, but, hey, if that’s your thing, have you ever tried sticking a hand grenade down your pants. If not, you really should, because I’d like to see it, and I guarantee you that I’m not the only one.
A lot of people looking to be famous and rich, and that is the order in which the duo usually come, take a more pleasurable stab at fame and hopeful fortune by releasing a flick with at least one money shot in/or on account of it. In most cases only parts of them become even remotely famous, and mainly so among guys looking for only one thing ultimately, and that not being a set of pretty blue eyes to get lost in - a set of something and a place to lose part of themselves within certainly, but not a set of pretty blue eyes – a brown eye perhaps.
Some people kill and die even to be famous, and these folks were sort of, kind of, not really referred to in the paragraph before last, as they are cracked and utterly broken nuts.
While some people go to such great lengths in their pursuit of fame, other people, more often than not (not counting the ones covered below) based solely upon their own stupidity, have it unwillingly thrust upon them, such as all these cops in the heat of twisted passion behaving badly.
Practical jokers (not to be confused with the real jokers of the last two paragraphs) approach fame from a different angle and have been known to trust it upon others while chasing it themselves. This type is more likely to kick someone unaware in the nuts than to get kicked in the nuts themselves. And at the end of the day, isn’t it more fun to watch a guy get hit in the groin unexpectedly than on purpose, and isn’t that the most important thing?
Sure it is!
