hmm, i'm a confuse monkey at this point in my life now, should i be? i think i doing way to much, idk, I'm really trying to block some ppl out of my life (for now) but it isn't working, and i'm trying to get to know this chick, and someday go out and marry her, and i feel like that isn't working, should i be going though this? I mean, the people i talk to says "oh Kevin you're the sweetest and kindness guy i had ever met"....oh yea? So how come you rtreat me like crap? I think some (not all.......maybe 3/4) of my friends (or my "so call" friends) treat me like crap, i don't deserve to be treated like crap, i'm the guy who is trying to increase your value in Christ NOT the guy who you ask for a dollar and never repay it back. I'm telling you, being a christian is very diffcult in the school i am in, and in the house i am living in because no matter how MANY times i ask them to come to church with me they allll ways have another lie. I remember last year, it was dnow weekend (some weekend thing my church does once a year to bring ppl into christ) i stayed with one of our elders in my church, and i seen how a REAL christian famuly goes and how sweet and loving he treat his family and how sweet and loving they treated one another, and when i got home from dnow i cried my heart out because i realllly want my family to act that way, i mean i love my family, but i just wish i could have a family that is christian.......its hard! hmmm, another thing, is this girl i like name Ashante, and how she doesn;t have friends, and how she was treated on her BIRTHDAY by her bestest friends and her best friend's mother, smh, i told my friends about this and they agreed with me, i should have had went off on them because you don;t treat a friend (or anyone) like they treeated her, i mean i'm not mad as i was on saturday but it stick in my brain now, and i'm 90 oercent sure Mrs. Walker is going to call me sometime this week and ask me a bunch of questions, i pray i can hold myself back from saying some bad words towards her, because saturday she was like, "hmm okay well i don't think its a good idea if i leave livy by herself with no adult supervision" and i know she was looking at me while she said that, and that wasn't the reason ( the reason was because i was there...........i thought christains don't lie Mrs. Walker??????) and while me and livy was gf and bf we was at the mall by ourselfs alot of times, what makes saturday and different? what i wanted to say was "*bad word* we all now the reason why she can't stay  and you just lie to us you *bad word** idk what your problem is but fix it *a couple of bad words*" i was heated i jsut didn't show it, smh that lady needs some help, and i've tried pray for her in all my prayers, i guess God haves a plan for her....He always have a plan=)