man, today was a long day. we had to be at saint jude by 10:00am, and we didnt get to leave till about 6:00pm. she had 3 1/2 hours of chemo and fluids, and antibiotics to get into her. her counts are still pretty low, but they were high enough to get this round. the doctor said that we might have to start giving her the shots after every round. we met with a genetic counselor today. in december they took some blood from esa so that they could determine if her cancer was a gene mutation or a fluke, but they finally found the mutation, and they gave us the results today. we found out exactly why it happened in her, and what her chances are of developing other cancers throughout her life. it was a little overwhelming to hear about the kinds of cancer we will need to watch out for , for the rest of her life, but we are going to take this one day at a time, one cancer at a time. we learned that this probably has nothing to do with either me or terise, but just started with esa. if you have the retinoblastoma gene mutation you will show the cancer. me and terise or anyone else in either of our families have never had this, so esa just was genetically programed to have this. they offered us the chance to be tested, but we dont know if we will. if our other kids have this we will know way sooner and they can treat this without chemo if it is caught early enough. we are pretty tired tonight, we had a long day, and i had alot of work to do tonight, and i still have alot to do so this is just one of those days that i want to forget about. esa doesnt take a nap on days like today, because every five minutes someone will come in to check on her, so we have no time to get anything done at the hospital. she is doing good now, she went to sleep with no problem tonight. she was exhausted!!! please be praying for her, she usually shows us that her tummy hurts her 2 or 3 days after this one. 5 more rounds to go.

we met a couple today who just found out 4 days ago that their 5 month old has the same cancer that esa has. it was really emotional talking with them, it brought back all the feelings i had when we first found out, and we didnt know how good or bad she had it. esa really gave them hope. they kept saying that esa is a blessing to them. they we asking us so many questions, and the dad didnt take his eyes off of esa. she was smiling and waving at them, and laughing and just being herself, and it gave them so much hope for thier little girl. please pray for her, her name is jolene. i think she has it worse than esa did. they said that their doctors already told them that they will be removing her right eye. so please pray that it hasnt spread outside of her eyes.