It’s happening again.

I can feel it creeping up on me

Trying to devour me again;

Robbing me of my strength,

My will power,

My energy.

This thief of sleep

Darkens my dreams

Stealing my self esteem

Making me doubt my every thought

Overwhelming my reality

Until I no longer know what’s real

Right

Safe.

I’ve been here so often before

That I don’t ask why

Only why now.

The question echoes in my mind

Intensifying the pain and fear even more.

How far will I slide this time?

Far enough for others to notice?

And how long this time?

A day?

A week?

A month?

A year?

For ever?

Only time can answer that question.

But time is too precious now for me to spend

Trying to reason out the whys and wherefores

Of my illness.

I need all my strength to cling to reality

To stay out of the abyss

Away from the darkness.

If I can’t I am doomed

Lost

And the darkness named depression wins!

I swear out loud to the wind

I will fight one last time.