I searched and searched for a word otherh than "echoed" that would be more appropriate for the the line "Echoed what you used to do" If you can suggest a better word, feel free, I'm always open to suggestions.
Deep in my slumber,
I heard you call my name.
It sang across the distance
Like a welcoming refrain
From an old song I knew so well
That it hummed unsought in my brain.
I turned and ran to meet you
You swung me in the air
“How’s my little girl today?”
You said with loving care.
“The park or the zoo, Honey,
You get to make the choice.”
“The zoo, Daddy, I want to see the lions.”
I said in my child’s voice.
In a flash, as only dreams can fly
A lion stared at me
And something in his eyes
Made me as sad as sad could be.
“I wish he wasn’t here, Daddy,
I wish he were still at home,
So he could play with his cubs
And in the open roam.”
“I know you do, I do, too,
However, some things just have to be.
Sometime, My Love, life is harsh
And full of pain and strife,
But I’m always near to help you through
The worst times in your life.”
Then darkness come and you took my hand
And held it very tight,
“It’s time to go, My Child,
It’s getting late at night.”
Then you laid me in my bed
And did what you always do,
You tucked me in,
Saying, “Sweet Girl, I love you.”
As you kissed my forehead gently,
I answered, “Daddy, I love you, too.”
Your grandson silently walked away
Happy that my dream was of you,
Knowing that his kiss upon my forehead,
Echoed what you used to do
To keep me safe in my dreams
Until the night time’s darkness fled,
And knowing I was safe with you,
He sought the rest of his own bed.
Copyright 2003 Bobbi Duffy
No portion of this work my be reproduced by any maans without written permission of the author.
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Reviews of "Your Kiss"
Reviewed by Nicole Davis Vergara (Reader)
Reviewed on September 22, 2003
Stunning work Bobbi, the word echoed fits just perfectly!
~Nikki~
This is a terrific write! I like the word "mirrored", as it would be a reflection, or a repetition of an action, rather than sound, reverberated. Good job!
This exceptional book, Celebrating the Gift of Being Alive, has the perfect thoughts and words for birthdays, graduations, engagements, marriages, and any life celebration or family tradition.
In "A Touch of Your Presence" are words that would inspire, encourage and strengthen one's soul when faced with challenges and difficulties and to know the awesomeness of God's power.
~Nikki~
Vesna
This is a terrific write! I like the word "mirrored", as it would be a reflection, or a repetition of an action, rather than sound, reverberated. Good job!
Tami
Beautiful as beautiful
can be... :)
Love Tinka
you've come back with a powerful, beautiful, meaningful write--echoed works for me! :)
(((HUGS))) and love,
karla. :)
This is soooo wonderfully-written. I enjoyed this very much! What a wonderful moment this is!
Sandie Angel a.k.a. May Lu :o)
I think echoed is fine here but if you're not happy with it then would "reflected" be an option?
~Chrissie
~Jackie~
Loved this poem.
Carmen