I keep going over these pages

Wondering how, on earth, we are at war.

War in body, mind, and spirit.

Yet, I keep going through these pages

At war with myself, my body,

my mind, and my spirit.

Which is worse?

Internal war or external war?

How do you compare?

Each day I think of the trials

The turmoil in which and through which

I cannot raise a child.

Might I first find the one with whom I will share this newborn?

Perhaps tomorrow, perhaps next year.

Either way, will it be the right time?

Can I subject my baby, innocent, and pure

To the sickening horrors of war?

Do I want to act as if I condone this violence?

Hell no. I hate war. I hate it in here and I hate it over there.

Pamela Simonson