Part 1

What do I know about love?
Men, women, and dating,
The pairing off of people,
Friends and lovers.
Casual trysts,
The power, the passion,
Of matrimony,
Or the cosmic harmony
Of a soul-mate’s
First kiss?

Only a little,
But make no mistake,
What I do know
Is tantamount
To that of a
Drop of vanilla
That flavors
The
Whole
Of the cake!

First off, I’d like to say:

On occasion,
I have had to be told to
Slow down.
My ears hear these words
But my heart runs on
Like a mischievous child!
I want the mundane to become
An adrenaline pumping,
Heart pounding,
Emotional,
High-energy rush,
Boosting the libido and the ego
Into a stratosphere of euphoric similes!
That’s all, no more!

Please!

I think to myself,
If love wasn’t so hard to come by,
I wouldn’t be so eager.
If it weren’t so powerful,
I wouldn’t feel so weak.

So, what is this
Love Thing?
Can it be created?
Can it be located?
Can it be contained?
Can it be explained?
Does it really come from the heart?

Allow me to continue,
By saying...
For my part:

Sometimes,
I do succumb,
To those animalistic urges
That stir men to madness.

I am not confused
By the nature of these drives.

I have been told that love is
Purely physiological,
Hormonal,
Primal.
It has been described
As a byproduct,
Of a
Basic
Bodily function,
A scientifically observable,
Genetically inherent
Phenomenon,
Based entirely on the
Stimulus/response
Pavlovian Behavior Model.
It emboldens
Even the most timid of souls
And brings out the dog in us all.

An easy explanation,
To be sure,
That is,
Unless you choose to ignore
Love’s unpredictable nature,
The variables:
Is it a curse?
Or is it a cure?

Love can last days,
Weeks, months, even years.
It can come out of nowhere
And in the blink of an eye
It can
Completely
Disappear.

Some say that love
Is tied closely to
Social and familial mores
And expectations.
It’s just a matter of being able to answer
Some, well… rather, personal questions.

Like…

Have you got a boyfriend yet?

What will your mother say
When she finds out you’re pregnant?

Think he’s going to ask you to marry him?

Are you married yet?

How’s the wife and kids?

Did you forget your anniversary,
Again?

Why aren’t you married?

Have you seen the new secretary?

You know you’ll soon be turning forty, honey.
Don’t you want to be a mommy?

Is one grandchild too much to ask?

We need stability at this firm,
Surely you understand,
We’re looking for a family man.

My God, you’re thirty-five years old
People will think you’re gay!
And by the way, who was that guy
I saw you walking with the other day?

Like hot air filling a big red balloon,
We all get that uneasy feeling inside.
The pressure’s on…
Mustn’t let something as silly as emotions
Cloud our flirtatious, love-hungry minds,
At least not too long.

And as we ponder our
All-too-critical choices,
That infernal clock tic-tocs
Reminding us all
We are not getting any younger.

Life is going, going, gone!

Yes, every potential lover
Must be ready to receive
Free Advice.
That is, if it’s half believable
It might change your life!

I heard:
You can find love
Right away
If you’re in a Rock’n’Roll band,
You know,
And those green and white labels
On your new blue jeans
They’ve gotta go!

It’s all about
The breath freshener you use,
The books that you choose,
Who you hang with,
And certainly,
The way you chew your food!
You have to have your hair
Professionally styled,
Own Rave’on sunglasses,
Drink the right wine,
Play the right music,
And…
Lose some weight
For Goodness sake!
That is,
If you’re truly interested in
Making the best impression
On your first date.

Got coke?
Works like magic,
Or so they say!

Who are we fooling?
Or is love just for fools?
By the time I figure it out
Someone's changed the rules!

Some believe
That love
Can only be calculated
By adding up
Certain economic indicators…

It’s all about
The bottom line.
Forget
For better or for worse,
For richer or for poorer!
No!

Is that a new car?

Is that a new dress, a new purse?

Did you know
His father owns a summer cottage
In Martha’s Vineyard?

Did you hear
She’s a post-grad student
Who’s transferred in from Stanford?

He’s got stock in IBM and Microsoft too
Baby, Baby, Baby
You’re the best!
Can I go to the party with you?

It’s OK if you’re looking for
A business partner
But beware of prenuptials
And those fast talking lawyers.

It could be said that
Love is the fire
From the perfect match.

You meet them,
You greet them,
Strike up a conversation.
If everything works out right
Love’s blaze
Will shine for you,
And last, and last, and last…

But
Please be careful
Don’t let yourself get burned
It might only come to pass
If he or she
Is:

Not too pretty,
Not too ugly,
Not too tan
Not too pale,
Not too fat,
Not too thin,
Not too short,
Not too tall,
Not too serious,
Not too funny,
Not too shy,
Not too outgoing.
Not too smart,
Not too stupid
Not too fast,
Not too slow…

On and on and on it goes!
People who set out looking
For the perfect mate
Are usually disappointed
When they find out,
Too late,
That they aren’t…

And who’s to say
What perfect is, anyway?

I say,
No two people,
Or loves,
Will ever be the same.
And the nature of love…

Even as I speak,
The clouds are changing form.
Love is all of this
And ever more!