“You’d think that I was a blessed priest
Everyone talks to me
Everyone has a story
Every one has a problem.
“He has the hots for her;
She’ got’em for another guy.
This guy’s wife doesn’t understand him
That broad has the hots for this one.
It’s a crazy old world
It takes all kinds
“It used to bug me,
You know,
People asking me,
Charlie, the barkeep,
For advice,
So I went to my priest.
“’You don’t have to say a word’
He sez
“it’s better if you don’t.
“‘just listen, and ask questions ...
They know very well what to do…
Let them work it out.’
“So that’s what I do.
Listen and ask questions. It seems to
work. Saved a bunch of marriages.
[Me, i’ve had six, go figure…]
“It’s a crazy old world,
It takes all kinds.
“Did you see that? Haven’t
Smoked in six years and I’m still reaching for ’em
in my shirt pocket
Where I used to keep ’em …
“Took a pistol off of
A guy One night
(don’t ask me to do that in a hurry!)
“What's that?"
"Tell you about it?"
"Not much to tell:
Guy comes in here
All liquored up,
Waving a pistol,
Yelling he’s going to kill someone…
“I got him to sit down, got him talking …
“How did I … ?"
“Fed him another beer,"
"I know that .. but it worked
“cops came in yelling and screaming
‘i tells them ‘my bar my problem’.
They backed off
“listened to that guy
For an hour an a half …
Tried to convince him
That he really wanted to go see
The nice doctor.
Finally, the guy falls asleep –
just puts his head down and drifts off
It’s a crazy old world
Take all kinds
Then there’s the confessions …
“whew!” Steamy stuff
Even allowing for the B.S. factor –
“One guy…Damn there I go
Reaching for a fag . . .
again
“Well, good talking to you
Break’s over,
Got to get back at it.
“It’s a crazy old world
It takes all kinds …”
My challenge:
Draw a character using only that character’s words – The character may either tell us about themselves, or as in this example, interact with a silent and unseen “other”. No description just dialogue…
John,
Excellent example to begin your challange. I have a mental image of this barkeeper as vivid in my mind as if you posted a picture with the words. I will accept your challange and see if I can do this. Never tried it before but it's a clever adn wonderful idea!
You did a great job at your own challenge, John. I decided to give it a shot and posted one. I hope it meets with your approval and that I understood the challenge correctly. This is an amazing account of a barkeep's life.
Take care,
Sherry
Reviewed by Katy Walsvik (Reader)
Reviewed on March 12, 2005
John, it would be hard to top this involving, clever and very unique piece of yours BUT... I love a challenge (we don't have enough, methinks). It's inspiring to give a go to something outside our usual style and genre... can't promise anything but my head's on the path.. Keep your eyes open.... AND keep your pen moving! This is really something! katy xox.
Great write and this is not that easy I know, but you did paint a perfect picture of this barkeep and I love his cahracteer that comes through on every line.
Before you get confused and think someone stole my book, I assure you it’s really me. Someone stole my heart, not my journal, and I’m sure I’ll never be the same again. It’s a long story, but you have plenty of blank lines.
You know how I hate government agencies, and swore I’d never step food in another after my experiences with the unemployment agency and the child support place? Well, like a fool, I let Linda talk me into trying one more agency after I received the foreclosure letter. She knew of this place that would intervene if I promised to let them counsel me on finances and control my budget. I didn’t think it could hurt any more than I already was. Ha!
Why do they all assume we should know their strange procedures and then treat us like we’re idiots when we don’t? Was government agency procedures one of the classes I slept through? I’m angry all over again about those two hours I wasted in the unemployment office before anyone told me I needed to fill out the form hidden on a table in the back of the room. I want those hours back. And I want to tell that snooty woman in the county attorney’s office that her question was stupid, not my answer. Is he more than three months behind was not a good question when she meant was he three consecutive months behind. My answer was correct. He had missed six of the last eight months, which made him more than three months behind. I want that entire day back, because I wasted a vacation day to sit there for nothing. And I want her to apologize for my tears. Those were tears of shame, disappointment, fear, anger, fatigue, and frustration, and she looked at me like I was a fool. I want a day and an apology. Ha again.
Maybe I shouldn’t have complained to Linda about the mortgage company refusing to accept a payment and a half. I’ll learn to keep my mouth shut. It just doesn’t make any sense to me why they insist on the three full months plus late fees. Wouldn’t a payment and a half help? It’s like they got the taste of my blood on their lips and now they’ll settle for nothing less than devouring all of me.
Well, I broke down and contacted Linda’s budget guru. She sent forms, asking for breakdowns of every dime I spend. I wasted two evenings and the entire weekend pouring over the check book, receipts, and my calendar and separating personal and household items from the grocery totals and putting things like pizza and popcorn into the entertainment category so I’d have a clear, honest picture to take in there. Apparently, my conscience isn’t as noble as I thought. She moved tampons, deodorant, cosmetics, and haircuts out of the necessities column and put them in the frivolous category with cable TV and the Internet.
I argued with the guru. Tampons don’t cost any more than pads, and surely they allow some sort of protection. My job pretty much requires deodorant and cosmetics. I suppose I could give up my semi-annual haircuts, but as fast as my hair grows that would leave me with long, unstyled hair, and the assumption that I deserve to look like a hag because he doesn’t want to pay child support seems harsh. However, to save my home, I agreed to give up the haircuts.
I consider the Internet a necessity, but the guru didn’t. The kids use it for homework and research, and to email their cousins. I use it to talk to Mom instead of long distance phone calls. I use it to get the news, because we sure don’t get the truth on any network channels. How am I supposed to be a responsible citizen if I can’t keep up with what’s going on in the world?
And cable is the only entertainment the kids get these days. We can’t afford to go out or rent movies. Their lives have changed enough as it is, so I don’t think they should have to give up everything fun in life. I asked if I could give up one or the other, not sure which I’d choose – the Internet or the cable – and hoping she’d let me talk it over with the kids before I had to make the decision. It didn’t matter. The guru said both would disappear if I signed up for her program.
I walked out. I wasn’t about to let her see me cry. She would probably have watched me pull the tissue from my purse and decided that was another luxury. Besides, she would have thought it was over losing the Internet and cable and it was so much more than that. She couldn’t, or wouldn’t, look at those documents in front of her and see that I had worked hard all my life. I had been the responsible one, and he walked away and left me hanging. Not only is he not paying child support, he isn’t paying on the bills he was assigned in the divorce and those have fallen back on me. Weird how that works – the court orders him to pay but the creditors don’t have to pay any attention to that order. They’ve all come back on me, even the damned boat payment. I can pay for him to have a boat, but I can’t have the Internet and my kids can’t have cable. Screw that.
But does it make any sense to lose the house because I won’t give up the Internet? I’m too sad to think it through. I don’t see any way out at this point. I don’t even feel like trying, because every time I try I lose another piece of my dignity.
I need to go to sleep so I don’t have to think about any of this. Catch you tomorrow, when I will NOT be visiting any government agencies.
I will take you up on this challenge, John...though it may take me an hour or so to work it all out...LOL! I will put the word Challenge in the title...sounds like it might be fun...Ed
Questions, unquestioned discoveries, and answers in parable and rhyme…. This collection records a journey starting with a 1960s retrospective and the first man on the moon, moving to a new millennium welcomed in with a terrorist spin, family crises,
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Excellent example to begin your challange. I have a mental image of this barkeeper as vivid in my mind as if you posted a picture with the words. I will accept your challange and see if I can do this. Never tried it before but it's a clever adn wonderful idea!
Sherry
Take care,
Sherry
O, boy. Gonna have to think on it...watch for my answer soon. :)
Don't think it will be as good as yours is, though--BRAVO!
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. :)
Felix
Before you get confused and think someone stole my book, I assure you it’s really me. Someone stole my heart, not my journal, and I’m sure I’ll never be the same again. It’s a long story, but you have plenty of blank lines.
You know how I hate government agencies, and swore I’d never step food in another after my experiences with the unemployment agency and the child support place? Well, like a fool, I let Linda talk me into trying one more agency after I received the foreclosure letter. She knew of this place that would intervene if I promised to let them counsel me on finances and control my budget. I didn’t think it could hurt any more than I already was. Ha!
Why do they all assume we should know their strange procedures and then treat us like we’re idiots when we don’t? Was government agency procedures one of the classes I slept through? I’m angry all over again about those two hours I wasted in the unemployment office before anyone told me I needed to fill out the form hidden on a table in the back of the room. I want those hours back. And I want to tell that snooty woman in the county attorney’s office that her question was stupid, not my answer. Is he more than three months behind was not a good question when she meant was he three consecutive months behind. My answer was correct. He had missed six of the last eight months, which made him more than three months behind. I want that entire day back, because I wasted a vacation day to sit there for nothing. And I want her to apologize for my tears. Those were tears of shame, disappointment, fear, anger, fatigue, and frustration, and she looked at me like I was a fool. I want a day and an apology. Ha again.
Maybe I shouldn’t have complained to Linda about the mortgage company refusing to accept a payment and a half. I’ll learn to keep my mouth shut. It just doesn’t make any sense to me why they insist on the three full months plus late fees. Wouldn’t a payment and a half help? It’s like they got the taste of my blood on their lips and now they’ll settle for nothing less than devouring all of me.
Well, I broke down and contacted Linda’s budget guru. She sent forms, asking for breakdowns of every dime I spend. I wasted two evenings and the entire weekend pouring over the check book, receipts, and my calendar and separating personal and household items from the grocery totals and putting things like pizza and popcorn into the entertainment category so I’d have a clear, honest picture to take in there. Apparently, my conscience isn’t as noble as I thought. She moved tampons, deodorant, cosmetics, and haircuts out of the necessities column and put them in the frivolous category with cable TV and the Internet.
I argued with the guru. Tampons don’t cost any more than pads, and surely they allow some sort of protection. My job pretty much requires deodorant and cosmetics. I suppose I could give up my semi-annual haircuts, but as fast as my hair grows that would leave me with long, unstyled hair, and the assumption that I deserve to look like a hag because he doesn’t want to pay child support seems harsh. However, to save my home, I agreed to give up the haircuts.
I consider the Internet a necessity, but the guru didn’t. The kids use it for homework and research, and to email their cousins. I use it to talk to Mom instead of long distance phone calls. I use it to get the news, because we sure don’t get the truth on any network channels. How am I supposed to be a responsible citizen if I can’t keep up with what’s going on in the world?
And cable is the only entertainment the kids get these days. We can’t afford to go out or rent movies. Their lives have changed enough as it is, so I don’t think they should have to give up everything fun in life. I asked if I could give up one or the other, not sure which I’d choose – the Internet or the cable – and hoping she’d let me talk it over with the kids before I had to make the decision. It didn’t matter. The guru said both would disappear if I signed up for her program.
I walked out. I wasn’t about to let her see me cry. She would probably have watched me pull the tissue from my purse and decided that was another luxury. Besides, she would have thought it was over losing the Internet and cable and it was so much more than that. She couldn’t, or wouldn’t, look at those documents in front of her and see that I had worked hard all my life. I had been the responsible one, and he walked away and left me hanging. Not only is he not paying child support, he isn’t paying on the bills he was assigned in the divorce and those have fallen back on me. Weird how that works – the court orders him to pay but the creditors don’t have to pay any attention to that order. They’ve all come back on me, even the damned boat payment. I can pay for him to have a boat, but I can’t have the Internet and my kids can’t have cable. Screw that.
But does it make any sense to lose the house because I won’t give up the Internet? I’m too sad to think it through. I don’t see any way out at this point. I don’t even feel like trying, because every time I try I lose another piece of my dignity.
I need to go to sleep so I don’t have to think about any of this. Catch you tomorrow, when I will NOT be visiting any government agencies.
Love Tinka
excellent poem!
Reindeer
Eileen