If tomorrow
When the sun ups
In my morning
And my soul I lose.
At the sight
Of not seeing you
By my side
I want to remember
What melts on my mouth
Are your lips
What I yearn to see
Are the treasures hidden
Deep in your eyes
My hands and finger tips
Seek
As your body I caress
Is to re-live our youth
We've seemed
to have lost in time.
By: william Bonilla
11/11/03
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Reviews of "Lost Youth"
Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson (Reader)
Reviewed on December 6, 2003
My two kids now keep me young...
Excellent write William......
A warm, romantic poem with a wistful tone. It conveys a sense of dreamy reverie, tinged with sadness. The only thing I would change is the placement of the punctuation, for example the comma after "I" in "what I, yearn to see" is not needed. Small details like that can unintentionally change the sense of a poem, so it's worth looking into it.
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Excellent write William......
Love Tinka
Gina