TO SMOKE, OR NOT TO SMOKE
For many years that was the question
for which I had no answer.
Course, that was back in the days
before they said it causes cancer.
My son is now 44
and a smoker has he become,
but from the time he was 3 or 4,
he nagged til my ears were numb.
Daddy, why do you smoke
Dad, why don’t you quit.
Sometimes I though he nagged
just for the hell of it.
Years later, my wife was sick,
quitting became more important.
Eventually they even passed laws
banning smoking in restaurants.
But once you’ve got the habit,
quitting isn’t all that easy.
Some often get the shakes
while others get feeling queasy.
It took me many years,
must have quit a hundred times.
I’m sure I’d have been put in jail
if lying was a crime.
For a time I switched to cigars,
those little ones, five to a pack.
Put myself on a one pack limit,
but eventually cigarettes were back.
There are many crutches.
I stopped cigarettes for chew.
I used those little pouches,
so people seldom knew.
As a habit it’s disgusting,
especially when you have to spit,
but spitting I wouldn’t do,
a real man simply swallows it.
It was better for my lungs,
and I was still getting my fix,
but a different kind of cancer
still was in the mix.
Back and forth it went
cigars, cigarettes and chew.
I knew that I should quit,
but its so damn hard to do.
I had to make a move,
for several years I cut way back.
daily I’d bum just two from my son,
but I refused to buy a pack.
I’d save the last one for bed time,
cause I couldn’t sleep if I was craving.
As long as I stopped at two,
it felt like I was behaving.
Sometimes I’d go to the bar,
for a dollar I could buy a couple.
If I didn’t exceed my two a day
it wasn’t causing any trouble.
Still, it felt like I was cheating,
“I can do better, I know I can.”
how could such a little thing
defeat a full grown man?
For years I’d been cut back
to my limit of only two
and sometimes for several months
I’d quit that and only chew.
Friends had tried the patch
Others had chewed the gum.
No matter what the method,
quitting wasn’t any fun.
And when it came right down to it,
they nearly all went back.
First they’d bum a few,
then break down and buy a pack.
Most gained a little weight,
some gained quite a lot,
then went back to smoking
and the weight they’ve all still got.
My sister got hypnotized.
Did it help? I asked her curious.
She said, “You can’t beat this habit,
unless your really serious.”
Finally I’d had enough
It was time to take a stand
If I can’t beat this habit
I’m not really much of a man.
I put my last two cigars in the drawer
so they’d always be there to see,
to remind myself each day
how that habit had control of me.
I didn’t attend meetings,
I didn’t wear a patch.
I reminded myself every single day
that I was saving lots of scratch.
You have to fight the cravings
for several weeks, at least,
but eventually if you’re serious
you can gain control of the beast.
Oh, I gained a little weight,
but not what you might think
I tried hard not to substitute
cigarettes with food and drink.
It’s now been over two years
and I haven’t cheated once.
I have no clue how much I’ve saved,
but I know that it’s a bunch.
I no longer have the cravings,
but occasionally I’ll have just a moment.
It was a filthy nasty habit,
but at last I finally own it.
I feel better about myself,
just knowing that I prevailed
and I know it’s in my past,
that ship has finally sailed!!!!
© copyright 2010 Richard Lee King, All Rights Reserved.
author of: A Pursuit of Life & The Price of Freedom, Nice & Naughty & The Hints Book Almanac
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Be always safe,
Karen
Cheers,
Dan
Cigs have folowed me round several twists of fate.
I mastered it for about exactly five good years
Then picked it up again to calm my deepest fears.
Now I have to go through it all again!
If it is God's will, so be it. "Sides, I only pay $15.97/carton. ;-)