I was born down,
so no one could knock my ass any lower to the ground.
For years I suffered and knew it,
so I went on and chewed it.
I Loafed around feeling sorry for me,
this didn't end until I was past 33.

I was the most negative person you'd ever want to see,
I wasn't hipped to this so called positivity.
Nothing ever worked out,
everything always traveled a negative route.
If there was any bad luck,
it was in the back of my truck.
In most my juvenile years,
my heart cried many a tears.
I was stuck on stupid,
and hardly ever got an arrow from cupid.
I was a loner,
and a to much drinking stoner.
I never hardly had a girlfriend,
loneliness was my true friend.

I saw everything good happen to everyone except me.
I started feeling like I was a walking catastrophe.
I felt stupid,
and at times I acted stupid.
 I even got use to living stupid.

Back then life wasn't really worth the hassle,
but still I kept up my wrestle.
I never hardly told anyone about my depression,
but it came out in my daily aggression.
The principal asked why I was always fighting,
he thought I did it because it was exciting.
I fought because of inner anger,
and the disrespectful stranger.
Hurt my shy feelings,
there'd almost be some killings.

One day when I was about 34,
the devil really walked up to my door.
He made me feel like taking my own life,
so I sharpen my harikari knife.

All of a sudden I started laughing,
and I've been laughing every since then.
My inner soul spoke to me real loud,
and reminded me that I should feel proud.
Proud that I seemed to always survive,
and still stay alive,
even though my life was so f-up.
So I picked myself up.
Been up every since then,
and still I grin.

You see, life hasn't changed for me in the misery category,
I'm still a walking disastrous story.
I just learned that something was better than nothing,
and since I have nothing,
what I do have is something,
which is better than nothing.

Death definitely means nothing.

So everyday I pick myself up,
and fight hard as hell to keep my something,
which is better than nothing.

I get my happiness from dealing with all of lifes bullshit,
most successfully and legit.
I'm not happy because everything is so right,
I'm happy because I learned how to put up a hell of a fight.

I get sick and tired of hearing people who have all their senses, all their body parts, they're not in pain, they eat everyday, have shelter everyday, work everyday and basically the only real problem they have is their mind telling them that because all the pieces to the puzzle don't fit in the good have everything category, they're not happy.

Happiness is a luxury,
if you want it,
you've got to work hard for it,
in the mental category,
and this ends my story.

I'm happy because I finally found more sense than to be sad.

If it don't fit,
force it.

Choice.

G