Kirkcaldy Linoleum,

often thought of as the poor man's carpet (certainly not Axminster!), but linoleum is a hard-wearing and attractive alternative to wool carpets
and Kirkcaldy in Scotland was the capital of Lino for long enough.

Kirkcaldy Linoleum


Barry's and Nairn's floored the world
linoleum hanging in sheets seventy-feet high
amazing designs and patterns
to fit every kind of room and household.

Aye, throw a dart on the map,
you'll not miss Kirkcaldy in the kingdom of Fife;
go there on the train like the boy in the poem
and find a bonnie Scottish wife!

And don't mind the damp weather that sucks,
or that 'queer-like smell' from the linoleum works;
in your inlaid home, you'll come up smelling of roses
when your wife washes your head every night!