How do you heal wounds when they have penetrated you so much that they are beyond the depths of your soul? Hurt that you have buried so deep that it hurts, and makes it so you cannot breathe?  Living with secrets that will destroy so many lives, hearts, families, dreams, hopes and aspirations; how do you prepare yourself for something so surreal?

You trust but not so deep, you love but barely, you live but don’t have life?  Your barriers are broken down, your clean but feel dirty, yet pure of heart.  What can one do to prevail but still live life’s crucial reality, and still don’t let it affect your everyday life and perceptions of others around you.

You dare to dream and finally live for yourself and not others and seek a happiness that you have not known in years, but still fear one being that is present, and that surrounds themselves in your life in an instant.  They feel what they have done in the dark comes back in the light but living a tormenting life of illness.

You’re physically well, yet emotionally sick, strong willed and determined and still weak, rich yet still poor?  Happy yet still saddened by things constantly around you.  How can you consciously help others when you still cannot help yourself?

All the remedies in life have still not cured your ailments, from medications, hospitalizations, surgeries, life, love, church, family, friends, and God.  Yet Satan is still surrounding you? Yes the devil is a liar and has been all your life, not even the good word brings you comfort, nor the true love that you have found.

Of all the things in life to deal with this has been and it seems will always be the greatest obstacle of all.  Fighting to be free from you, pain, regret, love for someone else and their fragility. Their feelings are as delicate as eggshells, you want to protect them at all costs, and you want to take your secret to the grave to protect someone who is oblivious, but cannot protect you.  The person you want to protect them from has never hurt them the way that they hurt you, nor does not know of the evil monster that lurks around them, lives, sleeps, eats, and breathes the same as they do under the same roof.

You cannot compare to this person on the same level, they are older and think they are wiser, but now after all these years you know that you finally have the upper hand, and in the snap of your fingers you could destroy all of those things that are hidden deep within/beyond your soul.