We are a special group,
We of the human race,
Keeping up all of our appearances,
To avoid being disgraced.

We buy our clothes too small,
And all without much reason,
And then the adipose flops out,
And it happens in every season.

My friends and family are on Adkins,
And they've tried the South Beach too,
There's been no shortage of flesh
For all of them to chew.

They'll eat for days and days,
All of the meats and cheeses,
Even though they secretly know,
The breads and pastas are what pleases.

They discuss their losses,
Over stripped clean carcasses,
And they know the loss of pounds,
Is a time-consuming process.

I sit and watch,
With my mouth agape,
As I think with a little exercise,
That we could all get into shape.

Like the Biggest Fatties,
On Tuesday nights,
We could win a cool million,
With only a few less bites.

I have to tell you,
I'm a plus size too,
Because I like the sweet things,
Even more than you.

Peanut Buster Parfait,
Is my special delight,
Milky Ways and Baby Ruths,
Also make me feel right.

It's a never-ending battle,
As our waist lines do expand,
And we stretch polyester over adipose,
In our happy fatty land.