My Dear Big Bopper Woman :)-

Copyright: 03-04-08 - Tom Hyland

Well - er, ah, um - not that your Boppers are Big,
but that a guy with that Name sang a Song -
and the Song makes me think of your Moniker,
and That leads me to your Picture - WOW -
and that makes me want to read your sultry Words,
and they make me horny as Hell,
and then I ache for you somethin' Fierce,
and then I don't need my lil blue Pills,
and then it won't go down for four Hours,
and then I have to go to the Doctor's -

and then he gives me a shot in the Butt,
but then my butt hurts somethin' Fierce,
but then to ease the Two Aches and Pains,
I try to think of somethin' soft and Warm,
and get that Fuzzy all over Feelin' -
and that brings me back to your Big Boppers,
well - er, ah, um - Thirty-Six, Cee  - ain't really Big,
more like Nice, or Perfect, or Hell -

here we go again - it has a mind of its Own,
and then the endless cycle is Renewed,
so then I try another distraction, like Lace -
and then that makes me think of Panties,
and then I start panting - pant, pant, Pant -
and then the palpitations Begin,
along with the throbbing - oh, that Throbbing -
and then I need some Relief,
so then I start - strokin' - strokin' - Strokin' -
my Chest -

and then I start Thinkin' -
where, oh where, oh Where -
is sweet little Suzie -
where, oh where, oh Where -
is sweet little Suzie -
where, oh where, oh Where -
is sweet little Suzie -
way down yonder by the paw-paw Patch -

pickin' up paw-paws, puttin' 'em in a Basket,
pickin' up paw-paws, putiin' 'em in a Basket,
pickin' up paw-paws, putiin' 'em in a Basket,
way down yonder by the paw-paw Patch!

and that makes me think of paws, and Pawing,
and I wanna paw Somethin' -
like maybe even - Boppers?
and then I Think -
where, oh where, oh Where -
is Chantilly Anyway?
somewhere in the deep south of Virginia,
I Think?

and then that makes me think of Virgins,
an almost extinct Breed -
but nevertheless, and forsooth, and by your Leave,
here comes that Gawd-Awful throbbing Again -
please - please - Please -
put me out of my Misery -
so shoot me! shoot me! Shoot Me!
and then I wake Up -

and it is Down -
and the Doctor looks at me kind’a Funny -
were you havin' a Dream, Tommy Lad?
and obviously - it wasn't the Dry Kind!

that Dog-Goned, Gosh-Darned,
Big Bopper feller sure did start Somethin' -
didn't He?

smooooooooooooooooooooooooooch -

Et Cetera!  -  TomKat.

P.S. this is so Delicious - like You -

I'm gon'na go ahead and post it!

Yeah, yeah, yeah - I know -

The CHECK’S IN THE MALE -

And the ---

IRISHMAN’S IN THE FEMALE BEAR!