Don’t Let the Door Hit Your Rear
by Michael Charles Messineo — Read all 96 poems by Michael Charles Messineo
In an effort to create new characters for my next book, I am stepping into this cowboys boots who wants to write songs for Nashville. Unfortunately his songs just miss the mark, but I am having lots of fun creating the songs for him. This is song 2 of 10 that I will write in the next few months. Apologies to you song writers out there.
Song 1 = She's Gone. Hooray!!
Song 2 = Don’t Let the Door Hit Your Rear
Saturday, July 17, 2004
She is only as good as my last pair of socks.
Said our goodbyes and changed all the locks.
Divvied up radios, the dogs and the beers,
get your ass out right now, don’t let the door hit your rear.
Been married eight years, going on nine.
She no longer appealed to my simple mind.
She watched Springer and Oprah and always cried tears,
get your ass out right now, don’t let the door hit your rear.
She had Tupperware parties and painted her toes.
Then she went punk, put a ring through her nose.
Walked through the mall, no bra, courting cheers,
get your ass out right now, don’t let the door hit your rear
Took my fishing rods and sold them at her garage sale.
My singing fish, my bass boat, this ain’t no fake tale.
She sold all my treasures with memories so dear,
so I kicked her ass out, and now I can cheer.
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Keep on writing them. Such humor is perfect with my morning coffee!
Sherry
Why don't you put her on HRT before you kick her out???
Great song. It will surely hit the top.
Nashville had best get ready to welcome it's next bright, shining star! This is as country as it gets.....and I can almost hear the tune in my mind. I loved the ending! P.S. I think I've seen this woman at my mall.......and being braless was the least of her jiggling issues. LOL
~Rose~
Keep them coming!
~Linda
Therein she went way to far, better to kill her,
Than throw her out, she would have learned her lesson, here and now...
another good future song, Mike, Peace, Ed & Rufuz