I was up to here
with poetry and transgressions
but wasn’t in tune
with the real of my reality
not ready
to don my genuine identity
to the world
I was so close
the poetry made of me
something real
not like my fraudulent self
it scared me
I was pouring out the words
of life on the street
the women, the drink, the drugs
and in these poems
so very amateurish in the beginning
but they were how I was
it seems I was
discovering another Jerry
one I never knew was there
it scared me
slowly the poems became more organized
tried different styles
studied the craft
learned from some of the masters
my words, in many cases
were rude, crude and venomous
many times I wondered
where the words were coming from
but I knew
and it scared me
they were coming from old wounds
and scars
somehow I knew
it was imperative I write about them
the pressure was great
I was so full of poverty of the soul
it was a make or break time
I had to hold firm
and take hold of my inner demon
it was a bumpy ride
and it scared me
still . . .
I persevered
and my friends
through it all, through it all
I've written myself into
who I truly am
I think actually the reader in you that has made you a writer. And there is no better therapy than writing it, rewriting it, and then writing it to get it right. And so it has been for your poetry. Cutting through the crude to arrive at the sublime. You are slaying your demons one by one by writing them off.
The writing group I'm in is called writing for wellness, and I think that name sums up your poem perfectly. Just keep on keepin' on. Honesty is always the best policy.
This kind of honesty touches me, JPB. "the poetry made of me
something real
not like my fraudulent self"
I do resonate with the process you sketch here. Especially when so much of disgorging poetry, for me, was (and still is sometimes) a process of discovering hidden doors, or locked doors, in places rarely visited, or even places forgotten about, and then prying them open to discover how much of my controversial 'bringing up years' I'd stuffed away. The process allowed (and allows) me to like myself more, which translates into liking, and even loving others, more. Enjoyed this. Peace... r
You are a good man. I have read your poetry for years, and yes you have put your heart and soul into your poetry. You have also written some good books as well which I have read. You are who you are. We all walk different paths in life. No one owns a Life Manual and knows beforehand how to walk the path. I am glad you have expressed your feelings into your poetry, and thus you have not had them bottled up inside you. I can only say you are a good person no matter how you look at yourself. What you feel about yourself may be different from what others see in you. Please remember that.
That's a good feeling, eh? Outside of writers, so many never find a means of discovering their true selves. Instead, they live lives that others have determined they should. Good to hear of another who is healing through writing and reading poetry.
My book of poetry is being redone by me, I have a beautiful cover designed and the book will have a few more than 200 poems in it. I am going to have it printed on demand here in Canada. When it is done I will let you know when it is done and if anyo
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Ron
Love ya!
Jane
something real
not like my fraudulent self"
I do resonate with the process you sketch here. Especially when so much of disgorging poetry, for me, was (and still is sometimes) a process of discovering hidden doors, or locked doors, in places rarely visited, or even places forgotten about, and then prying them open to discover how much of my controversial 'bringing up years' I'd stuffed away. The process allowed (and allows) me to like myself more, which translates into liking, and even loving others, more. Enjoyed this. Peace... r
You are a good man. I have read your poetry for years, and yes you have put your heart and soul into your poetry. You have also written some good books as well which I have read. You are who you are. We all walk different paths in life. No one owns a Life Manual and knows beforehand how to walk the path. I am glad you have expressed your feelings into your poetry, and thus you have not had them bottled up inside you. I can only say you are a good person no matter how you look at yourself. What you feel about yourself may be different from what others see in you. Please remember that.
Sandie