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Old Guy

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God Wants to Kill Me
by Old Guy → (All Poetry by Old Guy)
Saturday, January 29, 2022    Rated "G" by the Author.
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Upon learning that I have a mass on my liver at age 77 years.

God Wants to Kill Me
 
God wants to kill me. I know, because He told me.
 
I don't know why. But then again, maybe I do.
 
Was I too joyful? Was I too happy in this world of pain and suffering?
 
Or was I too melancholy, too fatalistic for a believer in God?
 
Was it the sins and transgressions I committed in the ignorance of my youth?
 
Or was it nothing at all, simply the natural progression of order to entropy,
 
Of vitality to torpidity?
 
At the end, it does not matter. I am resigned, if not fully ready.
 
My friends pray for me for more time. God bless them.
 
Stop it, I can't. Delay it, maybe.
 
But why? God has decreed this, and I love God enough to accept it.
 
All I ask of God is the chance to see my Bride once more. If even for a second.
 
God can kill me anytime now.


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 Reviews of "God Wants to Kill Me"
Reviewed on February 2, 2022
Acceptance of the sovereignty of God and the progression of aging is truly the path to peace. A deep poem from the soul. I wish you perfect peace and a blessed journey. Blessings.

Reviewed by Old Guy
Reviewed on February 1, 2022
It seems some don't understand my poem or the reason for it....it is not a dirge, lamentation or elegy, it is an acknowledgement of the primacy of God in the world and my life. One Author's Den reviewer said it was fatalistic, but unless one believes one is going to live on Earth forever, all anticipation is fatalistic to a degree. I tend to use strong words and unusual grammatical constructions which may be misunderstood, but my poems are authentically who I am, and what I think. Thank you all for your comments, I love all of them. See all my poems, some less lugubrious, at
https://www.authorsden.com/members/subPage.asp...

Reviewed by E Phillips
Reviewed on February 1, 2022
Nature kills. God soothes the pain.
Or so they tell me. Nice ending.

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on January 31, 2022
I am two years older. Learned recently that half of my high school class is gone. Cancer is a fickle thing. But cancer can be caused by lifestyle or other factors like exposure to chemicals, and of course, radiation from outer space that constantly hits our cells and sometimes, makes them abnormal to grow into a tumor or other growth. Our immune systems eliminate most cancers without us even knowing.

I don't think God has anything to do with it. Cancer treatment has progressed to where most cancers are treated and the unfortunate recipient lives on.

Your poem seems fatalistic. And it may be. Time to get your act together. I have because I know, at my age, good health can turn into a nightmare overnight. Best to be prepared and accepted for what it is, like you seem to have, something we all go through. Will living a little longer make any difference? My partner wants to be rid of me after taking care of me 24/7 for 29 years with no end in sight. I'm fine with going now and letting her live free from me for the rest of her life.

Ron

Reviewed by Kalikiano Kalei
Reviewed on January 29, 2022
Don't ask me why, OG, but this piece reminds me of Edna St. Vincent Millay's memorable poem, 'Childhood is the Kingdom Where Nobody Dies'.... It (Millay's poem) is an epic, just as was the poetess herself. Your commentary in 'God Wants to Kill Me' resonate. Expressive.
Aloha, -K2


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