The Monster in your head

When I first noticed something was wrong I tried to help you then, but I soon found out what I would be up against

Little children should be seen and not heard they always said,

So when I tried to tell them something was wrong they thought it was all in my head.

So busy with their own lives to worry about you, nobody listened they didn’t have a clue.

A stop here and there “hey ma just came for a quick visit”, they didn’t spend enough time with you they didn’t wanna listen.

“What do you know” I could hear them say your just a kid still learning their own way’

Never thought to stop for a minute, as the monster snuck in and will eventually win it

Ever so slowly it crept inside, destroying your brain, eating you alive

“Where are my keys, the damn lighters gone again, my back is aching you go on ahead”

More and more clues were coming out every so often; none of adults knew that you were stoppin’

Nobody listened to my begs and pleas, until it was too late Alzheimer’s brought you to your knees

Always so strong tireless and ready to watch your grandkids so their parents could keep steady

Living their lives trying to survive, they worked all day and needed a break, never realizing what they would take

I watched as you scrambled in and out of doors, we all kept you busy but you didn’t see it as a chore

You enjoyed the craziness it made you young once more

The day finally came when you couldn’t drive or work no longer, you could have been saved before Alzheimer’s got stronger

They had a shot that could have helped you a lot and this damn disease would not have taken all of your precious memories

Many things changed but you still looked the same Little by little you were losing your brain

As I sit here watching you slowly die I bury my head and finally cry,

You are my nanny, my hero, so strong I refuse to lose you we must carry you on.

The dreadful day came when you were no longer able to care for yourself;

Your children came running they were supposed to help

Different powers were assigned with each Childs strengths weakness and rank in the family in mind

The older children were chosen to manage your money overseeing your finances in case anything looked funny

A daughter moved in and took over your care it was a lot easier back them because you were still aware.

Eventually some of your children became greedy and I wasn’t long before another family meting

A couple of your children got in trouble and you needed someone else to care or you on the double.

The eldest daughter stepped up to the plate and she provided you with care everything was great

Then the next stage came and that stupid disease took over more of your brain

The eldest daughter found herself stuck in a rut she didn’t have much support and kept screwing up

I went to the family once again the finally stepped up and away you went

We all took turns taking you each day then little by little things got in the way

The excuses popped up and your mood went down as the time passed by the look on your face became a permanent frown

“The stress is too much” and your care has diminished now you just sit in your chair because Alzheimer’s is almost finished

The Saturdays I'd come to take you to see Joe that frown on you face went away as you got ready to go

You loved spending time doing activities during the day

You happiness showed through as you came out to play

The miles between us caused my car to fuss and that’s when our Saturdays turned to dust

My car will only let me come see you every once in a while but oh how I yearn to see your beautiful smile

You shouldn’t have to suffer the way you do, Nanny you should be enjoying the golden years too

You are being neglected there is nothing they will do and because of this the family is split in two.

They are so concerned about who gets your house and controls your money but what about their wonderful mommy

I wonder if they really care about what you are thinking when you are off in a stare

I’ve made a promise to Grampy and God too that I will be the one to ensure someone takes good care of you.

Your brain will be busy and youll no longer be sore because I will have you running around in a store

It won’t hurt to walk and Ill translate when you talk

You be groomed regularly and wont drink or smoke because it will never get passed me

Your meds will be given as prescribed and well finally show them that you’re still alive.

Just because there is something wrong with your brain doesn’t mean you not still the same

You will never be anxious or worried with me you will never catch hell or be yelled at youll see

I have stood by and waited for an adult to step up I have learned how to care for you now enough is enough

I have expressed my concerns and maybe one day they’ll learn that I mean business and now it’s my turn

I am finally an adult and have the power you see to actually make them listen to me

I am doing my research and studying the laws because I know your care giver has some serious flaws

She was good in the beginning when we needed her the most but because of her stress she is turning you into a ghost

She is abusing her powers and it needs to stop She is drinking too much because she can’t take the loss of my nanny the boss

I was the one who knew way back when that something was happening to my nanny my best friend

This stupid disease has taken so many but their close to a cure that will beat the enemy

Nanny please don’t give up just yet come join me in the fight and together we will battle Alzheimer’s with all of our might!

You were there for me when I needed you way back when, I’ll never leave you, and I’ll be there till the very end.

~Breann~

 ©Breanna Martel