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George M Jackson

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The Fallen
by George M Jackson → (All Poetry by George M Jackson)
   Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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I'm probably way out of my league here, but wanted to try something different.

He had grown old, this warrior


Who lay bleeding in the dirt, shield


Split asunder from the axe that still


Jutted from his chest, biting into his


Heart with every ragged breath, but


It had known pain much worse than


A simple mortal blow could inflict, a


Mere physical distraction, this heart


Had bled long before today.


 


He was perhaps the last of his kind, a


Man who took no pleasure from war


Or the victories of a king whose ideals


Had once been noble ones, before he


Forgot the cost of obtaining them, the


Crown upon his brow now tarnished


With greed, eyes grown crafty and


Insane behind closed doors where


Cloaked figures fed his ambition for more.


 


A man of few words and little means, this


Now fallen warrior left for dead in a field


Of thistle, where bodies lay scattered like


Broken dolls tossed aside by careless children…


As he lay on his back coughing up whatever


Blood that had not pooled beneath him in the


Final minutes of his mortal life, he gives a


Silent prayer for the men he loved, the only brothers


He ever knew in a world he no longer understands.


 


And somehow smiles as he breathes his last.


 


END


 


“The Fallen”


 


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 Reviews of "The Fallen"
Reviewed by M. B. (Reader)
Reviewed on January 31, 2005
You know just what words to use to detail your moods and messages.

Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader)
Reviewed on January 31, 2005
This is exceptional, very impressive characterization and mood.

Reviewed by Sylvia Carroll (Reader)
Reviewed on January 31, 2005
This is a keeper. You have described a dying soldiers anguish......no matter waht the time or place. I am proud of you son.
Mom

Reviewed by jude forese
Reviewed on January 30, 2005
when one believes in his convictions and adheres to a cause of justice, he is content in his actions ...

you've done a great job here, George ...

Reviewed by Kate Burnside
Reviewed on January 30, 2005
You take us right there, George, into whatever moment of time this might be... and yet, it is a time which is common to all of whatever period - the time of imminent death. Lucid and haunting and your telling detail is acute and graphic. You capture the flow of thoughts we can only imagine extremely well, in the far-reaching scope of their remembrance and feeling. Personally, I have wondered about this defining moment a lot... having come almost to the point of death: but I never thought I WAS going to die and that makes the perspective very different, I guess. Have to agree with Sherry; that perhaps all soldiers must find a reason always to believe in their cause and actions: otherwise the fight and the battle would not be undertaken with conviction, and might lead to fear and confusion. And Ron, too, makes a good point: far from being "out of your league" I think you are a story-teller in the making, besides an accomplished poet. TY for this mini-saga - at least, it could be!! LOL Kate xx

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on January 30, 2005
I like this story. It speaks of truth. Perhaps a full short story is in the making?

Ron

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on January 30, 2005
Excellent piece George!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by Lori Moore
Reviewed on January 30, 2005
I don't see this as being out of your league. Nice write.

Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader)
Reviewed on January 30, 2005
This was one brave post and as the others say very powerful.

Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Reviewed on January 30, 2005
Brings haunting images of dark age battles..

Reviewed by Linda Hill
Reviewed on January 30, 2005
POWERFUL, poem George. The reader feels they are there as the warrior breathes his last. Awesome write!!!

~Linda

Reviewed by E T Waldron
Reviewed on January 30, 2005
Excellent prose George! You bring out what is sometimes the futililty
of war as seen through the battle weary soldier, yet the smile tells
me that he knows he has done his best, and his battle is finished.

love,eileen

Reviewed by SHERRY HEIM
Reviewed on January 30, 2005
This is very well written, George. I wonder if warriors continue the fight without believing in the cause? I hope that is not the case. Those I have known who serve, always find a rightful purpose to what they do, they seem to have insight that those of us who are not warriors do not see. Very nice writing. This is just excellent.
Take care,
Sherry


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