Where is my calendar?
And my map?
I have lost them somewhere.
Now I live in chaos
For I am out of order
In my time and place.
Eternity is too heavy to bear
While I live.
I must have it
Meted out
Day by day
And space by space -
Lest I drown
Lest it dissipate me
In its Niagara Falls.

I have lost my days
They are swimming
Randomly in months
And I'm almost out of years.
Such disarray
I can't abide.
I reside in now
Of course,
But I don't know
When it is.
WHEN was all
I ever had.

WHAT and WHERE and WHY
Were vapors
Unaccountable, untraceable
And so, obscure.
And now my now
My then
My when -
All of them are gone.
I have no anchor
No orientation
No where to turn,
No origination.
It's limbo for me
For I am lost
In indefinable, unconfined
TIME!

Dated 8/23/1982