I like the tension and the images in this poem. I especially like the last stanza, "bags of shopping struggling home" appeared to be a dangling modifier in first read, but then later I realised the intent.
Captured the fall in a glass bubble scene and put it on a shelf for us to admire. A look at that time of Autumn in between the last fall of leafs and the first real fall of snow. The images here especially ones like the plastic carrier which I presume are those baskets with handles for lugging groceries, and the oragami geese are stunningly simple yet bring the reader into the focus of the scene. Lastly sweet KATE the cozy arrival home to a good cupa is the climax to this lovely little story. Special for sure.
Fee (Pops)
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Reviewed on November 7, 2006
I WAS CYCLING TO THE GYM AND NEARLY GOT RUN OVER COS THE SAME KINDA VIEW..darn upcase...
So vivid I can feel those painful hands that are hard to reopen the aching fingers...
YOur metaphors astound me dear Sweet Kate ( Its' been awhile, my fault but your not forgotten in my mind ) It's the toughest things WE do, that remind US of what we Appreciate most and why! Great Poem. I love Swans, they give ya' that Spiritual feeling~ YOu write with elequence, and I love your Bio pict. REAL and Honest! Warm HuGs and and Warmest Blessings, Sheeeoxo
This is so image rich, Kate, I swear I could see you struggling headlong into a wind trying to hang on to your groceries and get home before the impending storm blew you away and soaked you to the skin. Then there was that brief moment when your thoughts drifted from your harried struggle and you caught the glimpse of the swans "on origami wings", soothing your soul just long enough for you to regroup, shift gears and complete the task at hand. Love this!!
Take care,
Sherry
A mingling of the essential and the natural here.......
what a nice treat to have witnessed
all of you busy doing whats needed........
do swans go south for the winter in England, as they do here....
Kate, I feel like I am there struggling home with bags, dreaming of that hot cup of tea! A lovely write. I especially liked your description of the swans with origami wings. BEAUTIFUL. Blessings, Michelle
First of all I loved the description of shopping and all those heavy bags, plus the errant one blowing around in the wind. I can just see you looking up in the sky and mumbling about how it's nice someone is enjoying this weather and then of course the relief of being home.
This was really good writing. IMHO
Rusty
It's just a bit foggy here...this is sooo Readybreak ad LOl...I can just see you clutched up against the driving rain with a warm glow around you. LOL (aww) Such is the power of your imagery here Mizz MP. I hope you got that nice cuppa...'cause you deserve it for this wonderful piece.
Nicely done...I feel this way sometimes, like I am beating my head against the wall just to struggle through while trying to make it home, aka heaven. Great write.
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
A people’s heart can be found in their poetic words. In history men and women have stood firmly upon their soapboxes and street corners, rallying the deepest beliefs of people to rise up and be heard. The poetrypages.com has offered that voice a new
Mary Angela Nangini's poems celebrate the richness of life and love. From the city to cottage-country and the roads in between, Nangini explores the changing seasons of her varied region. (This book will soon be reprinted in hard cover.)
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Love Tinka
D
You say and describe it all...
Another precious moment and frieze captured indefinitely in the annals of time
Love and Blessings
Peter
You make me want to be out in the storm......wow! You capture it vividly and powerfully in verse...my new favorite of yours. :) Well done!
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Fee (Pops)
So vivid I can feel those painful hands that are hard to reopen the aching fingers...
Loved the title too..made me laugh
great images, Kate ... "A swatch of swans moving clockwork,
beats through weighted leaden skies
on origami wings:"
btw, your new bio pic is bursting with energy, from inside out ;)
Take care,
Sherry
what a nice treat to have witnessed
all of you busy doing whats needed........
do swans go south for the winter in England, as they do here....
This was really good writing. IMHO
Rusty
Paul;-)
Glorious!
Susan
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
Carmen :-)