We swam underwater,
our hair floating like seaweed,
our limbs, spreadeagle,
waving like tentacles.
As our fingers lightly brushed
and bubbles shoaled from our mouths,
I knew we were making love.
Washed-up like shells on the beach,
hair rising again like static
we made each other weightless
and I knew that we were flying.
As we joked and reminisced,
promising to come back soon,
we choked on lungfuls of laughter
and swallowed back a deluge of tears,
knowing that we were drowning.
A very nice work of poetry Kate, the emotional depth is very visible...one can see how life and love are incorporated even when together and falling apart...
Wow what a wonderful write dear friend, you've penned an outstanding poem with passion, a bit of mystery, and a small promise of hope! Enjoyed every word! Bravo!
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
Emotionally light of anchor not weighted down or one-sided, but mutual parting, a driftwood ancient history of love saying goodbye...coming up for one last air bubble marked by an exclamation point! AH...ephemeral destination, those two souls are lifted up on feathered wing from love's storm and stay dry for centuries...until they meet again...the might and consequence of that splendid word, "Love"...this one, a reliable passage on which life depends,
"As we joked and reminisced,
promising to come back soon,"
A stunning metaphor or set of them that says so much more then a straight sentence could ever hope to accomplish. Sweet Kate this one reminds me of some of Lennons more notable song lyrics such as Yellow Submarine and an Octapus's Garden. Love the style and the lilting imagery.
Fee
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Reviewed on May 10, 2007
Phew so it ain't goodbye...
You say goodbye I say HELLO, hello goodbye..
Beautiful, pure bliss..
This is Poignant poetry at its best ! ! ! You've reached a new and best level in your writing. ... And, such original lines in a maze of confession and remembrances. I love the last stanza, particularly, these two line: "... we choked on lungfuls of laughter ... and swallowed back a deluge of tears," The Goodbye... has been entered in my absolutely must keep chest... alongside those of other masters.
This one is in your top five for all time. Go ahead; prove me wrong... while I wait for it. - web hugs and kisses for a winner! - Bill
The visual images and the truthful sounding voice makes this a thriller. You've capture so much in few words...it's just a great write, that's what I call it!
nostalgic, sad and beautiful. first stanza image is perfect and the "choked on lunfuls of laughter" palpable, Kate. now, if I could just nail your light touch, I could write about love and drowning just like this and not depress everybody :) Dawn
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very nice.....enjoyed...
...Art Sun...
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
"As we joked and reminisced,
promising to come back soon,"
Sage
Great write, Kate!
Regis
"Goodbye" never sounded so beautiful and sweet as this poem.
Love & Light always and in all ways,
Joseph*
Be safe,
Karen
Fee
You say goodbye I say HELLO, hello goodbye..
Beautiful, pure bliss..
You must do a book for the intellects...
This one is in your top five for all time. Go ahead; prove me wrong... while I wait for it. - web hugs and kisses for a winner! - Bill
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in America, Karen Lynn in Texas. :(
This one touches me Kate....but hey....chin up OKAY!!
Love Tinka (look who's talking)
Parting is such sweet sorrow, as it is in this poignant write, effectively penned...well done.
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Peace,
Bill :-)