As two ships pass in the early dawn Reflections of them ripple upon the glass Some watch as each glides smoothly by It appears they might collide A thickened mist construe s them Passage is undetermined Sails are set against the wind Eyeless crew watch onward The clanging of metal against wood Creaking of wooden planks not walked Waves splash endlessly against the bow Continuous spinning and turning of an unmanned wheel Endless ringing of a bell In the blink of an owl’s eye The ships pass on No recognition of the other A harsh brisk wind blows Chilling anything aboard| The heavy mist thickens As the boats depart Arrival at no distant shore
As I read this, I thought of the countless people I've brushed shoulders with, but then parted from, probably never to meet again.
I felt myself tense as I read the part about "waves splash endlessly against the bow". Strong visual imagery put me on board. For a moment, I was there.
Excellent! I was thinking just the other day what a lonely sound a ship's horn can be [do they call it a horn? my ignorance on the subject v a s t}. Think I feel another 'lonesome' poem comin' on.
T h a n k s !! You have left lasting images -- sounds, sights, and more -- with us, and that is no small gift!! 'Pea' <3
Thoroughtly enjoyed the levels of writing here. Barely avoided conflict, coldness, and going their own way. Excellent. Liz
Reviewed by . . (Reader)
Reviewed on May 12, 2007
I enjoyed the way you presented your verse here. The familiarity of the vessels, the atmosphere in transition, the parting; each thought fits spot on. Very good writing, a pleasure to read.
Symbolically meaningful of events that happen in our lives, Helen; powerfully thought-inciting; your verses quicken my breathing. You did well. Thank you. Love and peace to you,
Regis
Reviewed by Michael Mathieu (Reader)
Reviewed on March 16, 2007
Like our lives, we pass each other with nowhere to go...
Staring straight ahead...
Well said,
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I felt myself tense as I read the part about "waves splash endlessly against the bow". Strong visual imagery put me on board. For a moment, I was there.
-Zach
T h a n k s !! You have left lasting images -- sounds, sights, and more -- with us, and that is no small gift!! 'Pea' <3
enjoyed.....Art Sun...
Regis
Staring straight ahead...
Well said,
Michael
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling