What its like to have Alzheimers and live with it. (A REPOST from June of 2007) This is what I was like 2 years ago. Thank God for the marvels of modern medicine and medication..3/29/09(

My memory problems have persisted. Sometimes I forget where I am going when driving. Names, places,and words are not always in my mind. My short term memory is less. Sometimes I tell my husband or family members the same thing three or four times. They'll say "you already told us" and I say" well now you know again". When I first started becoming repetative, I became quite frustrated. I'd cry as feelings of being inadaquite trancended.
I would try hard to concentrate yet I still had memory lapses.

One morning when taking one of our sons to work at his regular job site, I became lost. As I drove onto the site, the dirt road went two different ways to the exact same place a few hundered feet away. I didn't know which way to go. My brain felt scrambled and fuzzy! " How do I get there " I asked my son?
He looked at me in a weird way and said" go this way mom", so I did.
When he got out of the car my tears wouldn't stop. I didn't know what was happening to me, neither did he. Finally I composed my self and drove home.

The changes that are occuring are stuble, and happen slowly in small increments. Some days I feel great, and can face anything, then I forget a name, what I was going to say or do. Then I'm ok for a while, then memory loss comes again.
Other days I feel axnious, and am repetative and usually end up feeling depressed. Sometimes crying helps, but it doesn't solve the problem.

When I become nervous my brain feels jumbled and mixed up. I feel like I'm having spasms in it. I can't think rationally nor can I control it. I try to calm down as the feelings recede. Each day is different as I am struggling to come to terms with this.

When I first found out, I felt like a death sentence had been given to me.
My hopes and plans for our future and those elusive golden years were gone.
I prayed,cried, talked with my husband, family and doctor. I read about the disease. I felt like I just could't endure it. I had seen my grandfather, and uncle die from this , and I did not want to go through it too, yet I know it is a cross which I must carry and I need to accept it and do the best I can to make my familys life and mine a little easier. Trying to maintain a positive attitude helps a lot tho its not always possible.

My Doctor started me on Arceipt. I could not tolerate it and became very nausiated so it was stopped. I will be starting a new medication in another week. She also gave me something for my nerves which I take when I really need too.

I needed to do something to help turn my life around, so I decided to write about it. I hope it will help others to better understand what is happening to a person who has this.

Many of my friends on AD have been very supportive. Some have used their resources to help in my quest for more knowledge. Andy sent me tons of information from England . Debby gave me the name and phone number of a natural herbal magazine and place, and Barbara sent news of an article in the AARP BULLETIN THAT THEY ARE CLOSING IN ON ALZHEIMERS. New medical break throughs are being made! It gives me hope and encouragement to go on. I pray a cure will be found for the multitudes who have it. God bless and good night. Thank you for all your prayers.