One day,
I must have left my flesh
Perils before my eyes
I envisioned a room in a graven mood
where the wallpaper transmuted,|
insomuch, opaquely muted,
where surfacing faces of my children obscured
and theirs, and theirs, and theirs...
And there beyond all wisdom’s blind
I saw two tables
and each were mine

Across this room I saw a door
wide opened to my fate
And in the distance I could see
not green pastures...
but a desolate browning in a wasting land
A shrub less plain of barrened pate
in a wilderness of utter hate
There beyond the distance,
a small and narrowing gate...

I watched in shame, yet dreadful confusion
while falling to my knees...
For right before, in front of me
Figures, I did see
A relentless succession, not of this world
I saw His children appear unfurled
all processioning in...
And each of them from a netherworld,
justly just I’ve been
Their formation walked slowly by...
This image all from me
and there I saw
of this my life’s,
a line of all my enemies

Each one held an unlit torch
and I was holding a flame
One at a time they passed me by
Lighting their tapers, light from mine
There they cried, repentance hewed
and somehow, someway,
I could tell...
Those in the midst of me today,
had seen their awful Hell
I didn’t quite get, perceive, nor find...
Yet, they all appeared to me, as blind!

Now, set before me,
Table One, centered in crumbling stones
Unfilled glasses, a flat dish of drones
A vase depicting no fragrant flower
surrounding in abundance,
the stings of my fruitful dower

Who is serving this flavorless fruit?, I asked
And why can’t I smell this rose?

My questions came from within my soul
But I don’t recall quite how

Then, a setting with my name appeared
With a voice beyond the walls,
evincing...
saying unto me, .insisting...

"Which ones do you wish... to see you now?
Which ones should I throw asunder?"

At that moment,
Fear forced upon me,
to set my eyes on the other table...

This one,
Table Two, is oh so very fine!,
On my right, adorned in gold
Majestically gilted, flutes of wine
filled way beyond belief
I saw this table
a total opposite of,
and surely in my relief...
And then,
All eyes of mine, upon these walls
seemly opened wide
waiting for my answers still...

So, why all of a sudden is this decision mine?
For whom am I to judge?

"Well, you’re the one that held your grudge
until your last breath, you never budged!
So, I leave this choice now, up to you
O’ savage wolf these are your sheep
waked no longer, while they sleep
You decide with all your might
Who should I bless now
with you, their sight?"

Then I came back into my frame...

One day,
according to the Inevitable,
I will no longer breathe this air
and when my destined day arrives
No perils my eyes will bear
For Only,
One table will He set for me
Knowing ahead I can, I will,
and did I... ever
FORGIVE?

Copyright October 2006
Kimmy Van Kooten