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D L Johnson

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Invisible
by D L Johnson → (All Poetry by D L Johnson)
   Rated "PG" by the Author.
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Even though as we age we'd like to think
all of accomplishments in the past make us memorable...we do become mere shadows of our past. This is a work of fiction dlj

 Invisible
Dan Johnson
© October, 2012
Inspired by a recent movie I saw where a character in a retirement home said, “Invisible, I have become invisible.”


I was once a man
Seen, heard, valued, respected
But now I am a ghost.

“Do you see me?” the old man asked, “Yes” I replied. The old man sipped from his coffee cup, wanting to savor the last taste of dark roast before facing the rain storm. He spoke loudly since he was at the other end of the counter…well just two stools away. “I had a good job, drove a limousine…a shiny new Lincoln every year for forty one years.” Still working each drop of coffee as if it was gold, he looked up, smiled through his wrinkled face and said, “I paid taxes, always paid my bills, even paid alimony, never late…but you know what?, now people walk past me as if I don’t exist.” I motioned to the waitress for more coffee…then I noticed she had to walk past him to get to me; she acted as if he was not even there. I asked if she would fill his cup one more time, she glanced to her left and said, “Oh, him, I forgot he was even here?” while working on my coffee, the old man said, “You see, when you reach a certain age, you slowly begin drifting out of sight…no matter what value you provided in your youth, it doesn’t count for much…you just wait, one day, just like me, you’ll become invisible.” The old man stood, now bent from arthritis, bundled himself for the waiting rain, but just before he opened the door to leave, he said to the waitress, “see you tomorrow” Without looking up she waved him off by saying, “Bye dad, see you later.”


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 Reviews of "Invisible"
Reviewed by Phyllis Jean Green
Reviewed on January 6, 2013
Very good!

Don't see that it contradicts what I say in my "Rumor" poem.

Different way of looking?

Nice writing, tho. Thanks for the heads-up!

xOx Phyllis xOx

Reviewed by Dayvid Graybill
Reviewed on November 20, 2012
Damn! The story of thousands! It is a dagger to my heart Dan. Thanks for writing this piece!

Peace,
Dayvid

Reviewed by Jon Willey
Reviewed on November 8, 2012
Dan, I recall coffee and homemade donuts at the table as my father-in-law and I played chess - the game was merely a convenient prop for his reviews and discussions of his youth and his accomplishmens. I could listen to him for hours on end. Never board or knowing what was to come. Africa in the 1920's, the raging Atlantic in the thirties or New York in the Great Depression. I know he too felt invisible and cherished having someone interested enough to listen to what he had accomplished. My father needed someone willing to listen to his accomplishments too. I often wonder, will I have someone willing to spend a little time to listen to my story? I wish you love and peace my dear friend. Jon Michael

Reviewed by Myrna Badgerow
Reviewed on October 29, 2012
Goes straight to the heart, my friend... and this is one of your very best ever ever .. and that is not an easy statement to make because I love all you write..))
Cheers and love,
SPP

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila
Reviewed on October 29, 2012
Oh! What a sweet...yet heartwrenching story, Dan! It's so true....

Anna

Reviewed by pat medlin
Reviewed on October 28, 2012
what a sad but true write, DL...but the way you presented it was even more moving...i read and reread. this would be a great short article fo so many publicatioons that i can think of...

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on October 28, 2012
So very sad. And even sadder to me, it seems that today many become invisible long before they reach old age. There are far too many invisible homeless vets and pets out there.

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Reviewed on October 27, 2012
Yeah. Well, that is sad but even more sad is the fact that your theme is one that is timeless and universal in this world/life, Dan. I often use this quote of mine with poems that strike me as meaningful (at least to me but I am sure to many others as well). Thank you. Love and peace,

Regis

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on October 27, 2012
I love the lesson in this short story. I especially love the ending. I have always sought out older people because I felt that, far from being invisible, they had a wealth of experience and knowledge that they could share with me and we often did over a cup of coffee.

This may be fiction but it is so true that the elderly don't get their due… Especially when they're put in a nursing home and no one ever visits.

Ron

Reviewed by Jansen Estrup
Reviewed on October 27, 2012
Ouch! Too sad, too true! We're just a voting block now, but as individuals hardly noticed. Moochers and liabilities. They say
that our children are the future, but you've put the real finger
on it. We old folk are their real future and our children cannot
take the truth! Nice job, Dan.


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