Eight and a Half Years

For Eight and a Half Years I cried silently,
I fought with courage at the unknown,
I wanted to die with dignity and grace.
SUDDENLY, the problem has disappeared.
My life is better now, I am back to my old self.
Yet, it is like someone in my family has died.
Where do I go from here? Work or School or What?
A BIG PART of ME wants to DIE, again.
I feel like I have no journey in life left to do.
Help me God.

October 1997

Written 1 month after the removal of my "inoperable" brainstem lesion/tumor.