You, who were once my playful friend and joy,

Through tortuous hours the true happy moment,

The most beautiful present to enjoy,

'Ever my heart's most precious endearment,

Now rest silently hanging on the wall,

No trace of jest left in your shiny eyes,

Abandoned, like the victim of a fall,

Like someone waiting for final demise.

Oh my poor little Teddy, my sweet little bear,

If only you could speak, you'd say aloud:

"How much I'd love to play, out in fresh air,

But 'guess for you it's no longer allowed".

Oh I would love it too, just for an hour…

Just a brief hour, if our time 'd be cut short,

Wouldn't think 'bout today, future or the sour

Past, just play carefree kids who 'd run n' cavort.

But, you see, I long forgotten to play,

There are no more happy moments for me,

Quickly, mercilessly time flew away.

My youth lies in dust irrevocably

And I will follow there too… perhaps soon…

The swift winged time flies fast above my head;

Today I don't hear yet the mournful tune,

But - who knows - tomorrow I might be dead…

I just beg of you, if I'll have a son

Be there for him while he grows blundering,

Be his joy, his soul-mate, his shining sun

N' don't let him find out about suffering.

© P. J. Oszmann (1953 in Hungarian - English translation & transliteration 2005)

© Illustration created in Photoshop (2005)

Fotnotes:

Written at age 19, just two years after another composition was written to the same teddy bear, which was posted here in February 2005 under the title: "To My Tiny Teddy Bear".

That first poem was written in the aftermath of a painful rejection. The second was composed in anticipation of another…

By that time I was constant companion to my future (and present) wife, whom I met at the University of Budapest in 1952. There fate seemed to have pushed us together. The academic department of the faculty seriously recommended that students should study and revise in pairs for more effective learning, and as we lived only a few blocks apart the two of us studied together, almost from our first meeting onwards. By the time this poem was written I was getting dangerously attached to her… hopelessly it seemed, as she was dating an older and more mature medical student…

Hence this "monologue" to my abandoned companion, the Teddy Bear… the rest is history…  The son we had only three years later unfortunately never knew the little Teddy, who got lost in Vienna in a moment of confusion, just before - as refugees - we were taken to the train to England…

The photo in the illustration is not of the original teddy bear.

About the history of the original Teddy Bear - if you are interested - please read the footnotes under the previous Teddy Bear poem at:  http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewpoetry.asp?AuthorID=6177&id=131278

Below I give you the original of this poem in Hungarian, together with the line-by-line plain translation.

The original:

A kis Mackohoz

Te ki egykor voltál az öröm s a játėk

Szörnyü orák között a boldog pillanat

Ki voltál számomra a legszebb ajándėk

Ki a szivembe fėrközteėl percek alatt

Most hallgatva pihensz a falra akasztva

Rėgi mokáidnak nyoma sincsen ma már

Elhagyva szegėnyen, tėpve, megkopasztva

Olyan vagy mint ki vėgsö pusztulásra vár.

Oh szegėny kis Mackom, ėdes pici medvėm

Csak nėzel rám ės tudom ha volna szavad

Azt mondanád nėkem: "Mennyire szeretnėm

Ha játszhatnánk, vagy nėked ezt már nem szabad?"

Oh ėn is szeretnėm, csak egy orácskára,

Csak egy orácskára ha többre nem lehet

Nem gondolnėk holnapra, tegnapra s mára

Csak játszanám a vidám boldog gyereket.

De lásd játszani már rėgen elfeledtem

S igy nincs is már számomra boldog pillanat

Az idö oly gyorsan elrepül felettem

Ifjuságom lent porlik a föld alatt

S magam is követem egyszer… nem sokára

Elrepül felettem a gyors szárnyu idö.

Ma mėg nem gondolok örök ėjtszakára….

S holnapra a halál már ėrtem is jö.

Csak arra kėrlek most, ha lesz majd egy fiam,

Legyėl számára az öröm, s feledės.

Vigyázz rá, játsz vele te örök ifjan

S ne engedd hogy meg tudja mi a szenvedės.

(Budapest 23 Novemberr 1953.)

The Translation:

You, who once were the joy and play(fullness),

During awful hours the happy moment,

Who were to me the most beautiful present,

Who got into my heart within minutes,

Now you rest silently, hanging on the wall,

No trace of your old tricks (jests) any longer,

Abandoned, poor, torn and balding,

You're like someone waiting for final demise.

Oh my poor little Teddy, my sweet little bear,

Just looking at me and I know if you had a word

You would say: "How much I would love

If we could play, or for you it is not allowed?"

Oh, I would like it too, just for an hour,

Just for a short hour if it could not be for more,

I wouldn't think about tomorrow, yesterday or today,

I would just play the fun loving happy child.

But, you see, I long forgotten how to play

And so for me there are no more happy moments,

Time flew away over my head so quickly,

My youth had gone to dust below the ground.

And I will too follow once … soon…

The swift winged time flies away above,

Today I am not thinking yet of perpetual night

And tomorrow death will come for me too.

I would just beg of you if I'll have a son

Be for him the joy and a means to forget,

Take care of him, play with him youthfully,

And don't allow him to find out what suffering is.

(2005)