If you don’t want to get old, hang yourself while young.

- (Jewish proverb)

What the heck?

What the heck has happened to me?

How wrong can a bright mirror be?

It is not a child that I see…

               ***

Thoughts that come to mind standing on the scale.

I am standing on the scale…

I cannot see the figures…

Maybe I should calibrate…

My belly is like a whale…

I think it really figures:

I must be loosing weight…

               ***

Jogging in the park

What a sight for my eyes to behold;

Her firm young buttocks swayed as she run.

Jogging behind puffing hot n’ cold

My mind conjured dirty thoughts of fun,

As I hopelessly fell further behind,

Wishing coronary complication,

Just so she could maybe have in her mind

Giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

               ***

Love came to me…

Love came to me last night;

Age seventy. It came a bit too late.

Sure gave me a big fright.

Maybe it wasn’t love… just something I ate.

               ***

It’s been a pleasure…

It’s been a pleasure living my life,

Even though my life was quite stormy.

It’s been a pleasure knowing my wife

And it’s been a pleasure knowing me…

               ***

To be young again?…

What would I give to be young again…

I’d give my old age and all my wisdom.

But to be young what would be the gain?

Aids? Crack? Heroin? Discarded condom?

               ***

What was it like being young?…

What was it like being young?…

I can no longer remember.

A song that was never sung…

A long forgotten September…

Ray of light when I was born…

A poem that was never told…

A feeling so much forlorn,

I feel I have always been old.

               ***

The joy of pain…

I woke this morning with joints creaking,

Hurting all over. What pleasures I derive

From all the pain and all the aching;

Knowing all the pain means I am still alive.

               ***

So I am old…

So I am old… one gets this way with age…

Just binding time and keep biting my tongue.

I am old… keep admitting it with rage,

‘Cause missed hanging myself while I was young.

               ***

I must figure what I’ll be.

I’m getting really very tired

Now that finally I retired.

I must now figure what I shall be

When I grow up to maturity.

               ***

If I died tonight…

If I died tonight, I would be dead.

I would be “gone” like “yesteryear’s snow”

And lying dead in my comfy bed

That I’m dead I wouldn’t even know…

               ***

© P. J. Oszmann