Larry King, The Smiling Buddha, and Number Twenty



Follow me >>>. I am sitting at this Chinese restaurant,
waiting for my # 20, reading my place-mat horoscope.
From the left hand corner, Larry King is speaking to me
from the screen of a twenty-inch television.
In the right hand corner, there's a six-foot-tall statue
of a smiling Buddha, dressed in a sharp pinkish robe.

The hostess / waitress comes back to me, again;
Would I like more hot tea? Sure. She smiles and brings it.
More crispy noodles? I haven't finished the first bunch,
but, yes, what the hell. She flies away and then back.
She is still smiling, but now she is just staring at me.
The silence is awkward. I love these, I say, and dig in.
Number twenty will be ready in a minute, she says,
and quickly walks outside, through the double doors.

She comes back soon, heads straight for my table.
You have a big car, she says, laughing and looking at me.
Yes, I say, it's huge, in fact I often get lost inside;
I have to pay this special tax, the big car tax, you know.
She blushes, laughs, then blushes again, more intensely.

I think of making a move on her; a smooth line, perhaps.
But then I catch a glimpse of Larry King, again.
He is staring at me with those big eyes under the glasses.
He leans forward into the camera, as if getting ready to jump
out at me, through the screen, suspenders and all,
should I try any funny business with the waitress.


And then I notice the Buddha; His eyes are fixed on me, too.
I almost think I see him smirking menacingly,
his grandpa-like smile changed, as he read my thoughts.
I freak out, and give up the whole adventure, my motives
caught between the host in his suspenders and the robed Buddha.
The sound of the plate hitting the table breaks my trance.
I thank her briskly, without looking up at her.
She walks away, and as I dig into the food, I realize
she has brought me number twenty-five.