TEARS

By Kathy Armijo

God is gracious.

When I think of all that He’s given me

I feel so selfish.

Yet, today I’m feeling emotionally fragile.

It is hard for me to focus on the positive.

Life just seems very hard to handle.

If only I could get a grasp on what is truly bothering me.

My heart is heavy.

There are more tears in me than there is water

In all the oceans.

I feel silly.

The tears seem to come from nowhere.

I try to control them.

Perhaps, I should just let go.

Outside it is raining.

I think God is telling me it is ok to cry.

But, I don’t want to cry.

So, I sit here and blow my nose and

Catch the tear drops.

Yet, I weep for my losses.

I weep for my children.

I weep because I feel betrayed.

I weep because my life is changed.

I weep because I am tired.

I weep just because.

Now, I’m emotionally spent.

What did I gain?

I gained an awareness of why I am sad.

I know that I cannot change what is.

I know God is at my side.

He’s holding me close, giving me comfort.

He says that it is alright for me to cry.

He reminds me that water is a symbol of cleanliness.

My tears cleanse my spirit.

What wondrous gifts He gives.

I think I’ll go and let Him hold me as I cry.

For when I am done, I will feel wonderfully refreshed.