I’m hiding in the alley

As if I were a teen,

Smoking on a cigarette

In hopes, I won’t be seen.

The stigma of my habit

Is like a badge of shame,

So I hide away from view

Each time I light the flame.

My friends look on with pity

Each time I take a drag,

Begging me to lay them down

It is with love, they nag.

They’ve never known the power

That has me in its grip,

Demons that wrestle my soul

Control my hands and lips.

I have no real defenses

To argue with their stand.

I have a smoking habit

And it’s the bigger man.

So I hide away and smoke

So safely out of view,

Feeling like a criminal

And like a failure too.

Lavender Leigh

February 1, 2004